HankTricky collection

3, 2, 1, DATE! - Part 1

Before this starts, I'd like to say that this story will be divided into two! I'll get started on the second part right after this. I just wanted to get this chapter out quickly ^-^"
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Hank shifted on his seat, his mind running restlessly while he toyed with a knife from his pocket. The soft jazz music that was playing certainly didn't calm down his nerves. A single illuminated candle was the only thing that let him get a good view of who was sitting across — his arch-enemy, a clown who he had a mutual hatred with, someone who toyed with him too many times.

Tricky chomped down on his plate of spaghetti, the sauce and pasta spilling out of the plate as he ate up whatever he got in his mouth. Hank watched in disgust and cursed himself for being dragged here in the first place. It's been a good thirty minutes now since Hank agreed to this, how did he even get in this situation?

Oh, right.

Hank had been staring at a restaurant from afar, observing as he pondered at how to enter without being shot at a million times by agents. He was informed that the Auditor would be inside, which was strange since the guy never left his base and barely got any fresh air. What a dweeb. He also never thought that the Auditor would be in such a.. five star restaurant. The building was bright, fancy and definitely out of place in Nevada.

A familiar shake in the ground interrupted Hank's thoughts, followed by a pierce of static that rang in his (non-existent) ears. He whipped his head around to see a stop sign in the ground making his way towards him, the floor cracking open for Tricky to hop out. "HI HANKYYYY!!" The clown yelled. Hank was about to take a huge step back, however Tricky cut him off by a hit of his stop sign, the force sending him to the ground. Hank angrily reached for his gun, he scoffed and pointed it at Tricky, who went back down to the ground with his stop sign and came back up from behind the assassin. He kicked Hank to a nearby wall, and Hank, having gotten enough of this bullshit, grabbed Tricky when he was in close range and slammed him to the ground. He swiftly got out a pocketed knife and put it to the clown's neck.

"Leave me the fuck alone," Hank growled, glaring down at Tricky's form. "What the hell do you want anyways?"

Tricky giggled for a second, which told Hank that he was obviously not taking this seriously. After all, why would he? He could kill Tricky right now, and the darn clown would still come back alive and kill HIM anyways. After a lifetime of giggling, he finally answered.

"Clown arrived cuz he saw you watching the restaurant from afar!! Is poor Hank hungry?? Hmm??"

If Hank had eyes, he would be rolling them right now. "Auditor is in there." He answered. "I was trying to find a way to get in, until YOU," He pushed the knife closer to Tricky's throat. "..CAME!"

Tricky twitched and giggled again, his giggles slowly turning into laughter, until he was full on hollering as if Hank just told the funniest joke in the world. "Why the hell are you laughing?" Hank muttered under his breath, not towards Tricky, but as a question he asked himself out of genuine confusion.

"HEHE, SILLY HANK!! Why not try disguises?!?" Tricky answered.

Before he knew it, Hank was at Tricky's 'home'. It was a small, vacant building with barely any furniture except necessities such as a mattress on the floor that served as a bed, a table with one of its legs missing, a closet, and more.. questionable items. Tricky rummaged through his wardrobe, eagerly looking for a disguise as Hank stood beside him awkwardly, while being angry at himself at the same time. He was at Tricky's house. TRICKY. Worst of all, he agreed to this stupid plan. He was desperate enough to kill the Auditor that he went with Tricky willingly, and that thought made him want to jump off a cliff.

After a few minutes, Tricky pulled out a heap of clothes, throwing some of them to Hank. "Where do you even get these?"

"Clown doesn't know actually! He just has them in his closet!" Hank responded with a sigh and left the room to put on his disguise. It was a simple black suit with a red bowtie, and a black top hat that he put on above his other head accessories. If this outfit didn't come from Tricky's closet, he probably would have kept it. Hank walked back to Tricky's room and almost reevaluated his life choices upon seeing him.

Tricky was wearing a blonde wig and a long, white slit dress that was obviously bloody. Hank could tell that he was wearing his normal outfit beneath the dress, facepalming and looking down at the ground upon seeing him. "This isn't going to work. Tricky, you look obnoxious."

Tricky stomped a foot on the ground. "WELL, HANKY! You have to deal with it! Clown wanted to look good!" Hank looked at him for a second and groaned, leaving the room to go outside.

"I'll be waiting outside, come with me if you're serious and you want to actually do this mission."

After a few childish back-and-forth arguments, Hank and Tricky eventually arrived at the restaurant. They were lined up for a table, and Hank occasionally.. well.. no, repeatedly glanced at Tricky, embarrassed and concerned by the ridiculousness of his outfit. Soon, they were at the very front. An agent looked at them, and down at a list that he had set on the table.

No one spoke for a few seconds, until Hank coughed and broke the silence. "Erm, table for two please."

This warranted an accusing stare from the agent, who looked at the both of them, and then the list repeatedly a couple of times. Hank was nervous, this guy was definitely gonna catch on. They looked too much like themselves. He looked back at Tricky again, who was standing there with a neutral expression.

The agent spoke after what felt like eternity. "Table seven should be free." He said, letting the two pass by him.

Hank doesn't let himself sigh out of relief until they actually arrived at the table. He sat down across from Tricky, who seemed more than happy to be in such a fancy place. "Hanky, isn't thi-"

"Don't call me that!" Hank whisper-shouted. "My name for now is.. uh.. Steve.. yours is.. erm.." His thoughts raced back to when Deimos was playing some video-game, one of the characters being Steve and the other was named Alex. "Your name can be Alex."

Tricky was about to protest until a waiter came over, who looked down at them both with a concerned look. "Ahem, what will your orders be?"

"Clo- I mean, ALEX will have eight hotdogs, five burgers, a super large shake.. OH!! AND.. AND-"

Hank sighed and focused on their surroundings rather than what Tricky's order was. He scanned the room — specifically behind Tricky, seeing that there was a dark figure surrounded by no less than five agents. The dark figure was flaming.. and it had red eyes. Yep, that's the Auditor.

Hank reached inside his pocket. He knew that he could kill everyone right now, take the waiter out first, then head straight for the Auditor after slaughtering all his goons. It wasn't going to be easy, with Tricky in the picture, and the fact that the Auditor wasn't easy to deal wi-

"STEVE!!" Tricky yelled.

Hank shot up, snapping back to reality as he looked at the waiter, and then to Tricky. "YOU GOTTA ORDER!!!" He yelled at his face. Hank immediately reached for the menu, trying to read as fast as he could with no success. It was all too jumbled in his mind, his conscience focused on his murder plans rather than the food.

"Sorry, I'll have uh.." Hank flipped through the very few pages of the book. "Alex.. what did you have?"

"MULTIPLE THINGS!" Tricky replied.

"If he can't choose, then I'd like to inform you both that we are having a special meal on the menu tonight. For couples only.." The waiter said. This gained a glare from both Hank and Tricky, which made the waiter back away a bit. "Um, not to assume anything between you two. It's spaghetti, if you wish to know."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. We'll have that." Hank replied.