Work of Art

Chapter 2- Guilt

Don't do it. I thought to myself as I held the razor blade right on my arm. One slight move and my progress would be gone. All this hard work of staying clean would go out the door. You can't just do this when it gets hard. You can't.

"Honey? You ok?" my mother's sweet voice came from outside the door of the bathroom.

Scared, I threw the razor blade across the room. I pulled down my sleeve and wiped the tears off my face.

"Yeah! I'm fine." I lied. My mum worries about me so much and she was so busy. I didn't want to bother her with my problems. I also was terrified that my parents would send me back to the psych ward at St. Mungo's. I hated that place and I'd been there too many times. The nurses knew me.

-flashback-

"Hello, Eloise. How are you today? Have you come to visit someone?" Nurse Victoria asked me with a smile.

I slowly shook my head no.

"We are going to need to admit her again." my father said solemnly. "She is relapsing. I'm sorry honey. Once you get better you can come right back to us."

"I know. No need to apologize." I squeaked out. I was on the verge of breaking down and sobbing on the floor.

The sweet nurse looked at me with apologetic eyes. "We'll get her a room right away. Say goodbye to your parents, love." She always called me that. She was my favorite nurse here though they were all pretty nice. But having a nurse who I liked didn't change the fact that I was here. And I'd be here for a while. I wondered if my friends were still here. If they had gotten better and I was just still here cutting myself and thinking how easy it would be to be gone in a second.

I snapped back into reality. My mum was still knocking on the door. "What are you doing in there, Eloise." She questioned.

"I don't know what is a bathroom for?" I joked but in a completely serious tone.

"Elle don't get smart with me." she was getting frustrated.

"Then don't send me back to Hogwarts next week." I took the blade and put it in my back pocket. I opened the door and my mum was right there with her hand on her hip. I smiled at her sarcastically as I walked past her and went back to my room. I mean in theory she saved me, but, she was still annoying as fuck sometimes.

The truth was, I was really excited to go back to Hogwarts. I always relapsed when it was summer, because my house was fucking depressing and reminded me of everything that started all this shit. Everything with my sister, my dad leaving us for 6 months, and just all the trauma I had in the past. I wish we could move the wizarding world, but my parents say there is another war bound to happen soon, and half bloods would be first to go. I didn't believe that though. Voldemort, it stills feels weird saying his name, was gone. And he would not be back soon. Or at least that's what I thought.

My life at Hogwarts was way better than my life here. Magic, friends, partying, smoking, getting drunk, sneaking out, and more fun. This would be my 6th year at Hogwarts. I was in Slytherin too. Just made it even better. Though most Slytherins are purebloods and don't like "mudbloods". Especially Draco Malfoy. Fucking hate that bitch. He's hot. But I'm not attracted to him in least, how could you like a pureblood supremacist? But I wasn't going to let him ruin my last two years at Hogwarts. It just wouldn't happen.

My mother wanted me to start packing. Already. She is always too prepared for everything but I did as she wished. I got my suitcase and duffel bag out. I threw in socks, knickers, bras, tank tops, shorts, and swimsuits in the bag. In the suitcase I put in shirts, pants, dresses, skirts, night clothes, my robes, and whatever else. I put my jewelry in a separate place and I also had a separate bag for shoes. So many clothes but I knew I would need them all. Now I had almost no clothes in my chest of drawers. I had no idea what I would wear for the next 4 days but I'd figure it out.