Hurts So Good (Neil Melendez (The Good Doctor) x OC)

Secret Message

Have you ever felt that mixture of excitement and scaredness that precedes an unknown result of an event that you know is gonna happen any second? No? Good for you, but that's exactly how I feel right now.

It's 9pm, Neil has just got off his shift and he's heading my way to start my first physiotherapy session. My mind is racing, my breathing is erratic and I think I'm having a panic attack.
I was already anxious the day he came over to pick me up for the appointment with Dr. Dale, but tonight's different, tonight we are staying in. Tonight will be the first night I'll have a man stay at my place for an hour or so after Brennan.
Maybe now you get the excited-scared duality that's overwhelming me: excited to see Neil and spend some time together, scared because he is... A man. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those naive days, when I thought a sheer golden curtain covered everything known to mankind, when I was happy most of the time and I thought I didn't have to look after my shoulders all the time, that I didn't have to bring pepper spray with me, that I didn't have to keep the keys right between my fingers like knives.

Breathe little bee. Breathe.

Focus on your breathing.
1
Breathe in
2
3
4
Breathe out
5
6
7
Breathe in
8
9
10
Breathe out

When I'm calm again, I reactivate all of my senses and suddenly I feel a hard surface beneath me and I realize I've crumbled to the floor in order to get my breathing under control. It's getting easier now, but my heart won't stop beating like crazy.
Will it stop beating like that, though?
I open my eyes and I see I'm in the bathroom.

I get up and head towards the kitchen, I take a glass and fill it with water which doesn't last long.
A few minutes after, Neil is ringing the doorbell and I let him in.

"You made it," I tell him, getting out of the entryway and holding the door open.

"See? Didn't fall asleep, give me some credit at least!"

"Yeah well done, well done! How was your day?" I ask him while making our way to the kitchen. I offer him a glass of wine and he gladly accepts it.

"Quite alright. Had to operate on an immunosuppressed girl, nothing too complicated but damn the things you have to wear with these kind of patients..."

"Sweaty doctors are a big thing now, go struck some hearts while you're at it, Neil!" I joke, kind of. He laughs it off, "Yeah, not gonna happen. As soon as I'm out of all those layers of scrubs I have to get back into my suit and look like I just got out of bed."

Now it's my turn to laugh, then he finishes his wine and asks me, "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm... fine. Why do you ask?!" I tell him with a touch of an indignant tone.

"Don't know, you look slightly different from other days, maybe it's the lighting," he says pointing at the led lights above the kitchen counter. He then gets up, "so Ms. Miller, as per doctor's instructions, I need to massage the muscles first, then I'll help you with the other exercises," he says. I like it that he is taking his time explaining every single move he's gonna make, it makes everything more... Predictable, in a way, and I feel more at ease.

"Okay, where shall we..?"

"Sofa."

"Alright," I tell him, but then I turn around facing him again and giving him a fake scornful glance, "so bossy! You don't get to do that here."

"Right, your home, yours the rules. Where would you like to have your physio session, Ms. Miller?"

"Sofa."

*

We sit down and he takes my right arm in his expert hands and starts softening what it is left of my muscles.