Hurts So Good (Neil Melendez (The Good Doctor) x OC)

Have Fun!

The days get colder and colder, the wind hits hard and the city sees snow again at the end of November, only a few flakes here and there, but the mountains of the Yosemite Park are candid white. I'm at the boutique looking out of the front door, securely shut. The icy snow flakes dance around in the air before hitting the ground and dissolving into nothing but normal water molecules. The silence inside the shop is deafening, but if you pay enough attention, you can hear music come out of Rita's pub.

I'm at peace. Mentally, physically. It's been almost two weeks since that first hot night, and after that we've had many others, some even classifiable as hot days. I don't know what it is about making love to this man, but he manages to touch me in ways I've never known or experienced before, not merely physical touching, I also (and especially) mean it in a mental and spiritual way. My mind is serene, the pain feels like it is finally under control: thinking about my mum and my past doesn't give me the usual heartbreak I felt. It's been weeks since I also had a panic or an anxiety attack.

I swear when Neil kisses me, it feels like he's sucking away all of my worries, all of my fears, and he turns me into this strong and determined fighter. He eats away the pain little by little, he makes me feel vulnerable, but at the same time I feel invincible. He is the glue to my thousands of pieces. Not making me whole, he doesn't complete me. I'm already whole. He just makes it easier for me to keep the pieces together.

And yet, there are still things he doesn't know.

Like the call.

I knew it was Brennan on the phone. I had no idea how he had got my new number, but I knew it was him, and as soon as Neil brought me at the boutique that morning I immediately told Kelsey and contacted the police once again. They had tried to find out if it had been him, but to no avail, the call had been dispatched from a public phone and it was impossible to identify the caller.

I had resigned to the idea that something else had to happen, something worse had to happen for them to be really of help. The thought of it was sad and scary; Kelsey had gone mad.

"They should allow a police officer to keep an eye on you, I don't get why they won't do anything. It feels like everything we do is usuless, even though it was recommended to you. It's so frustrating, I'm frustrated, and I don't get how you're so calm about it."

"I'm not calm, but showing my internal turmoil to the whole world wouldn't be of any help, so I just keep it in."

"You're gonna burst one day."

And the situation had ended just like that. Nothing more in the days after, no signs of Brennan at all, no weird phone calls, nothing. Life resumed like usual, the only thing changing were my ob-gyn appointments, which were becoming more frequent, given the proximity of the birth date, just six weeks away.

I snap out of my reverie, and turn around, heading toward the office in order to collect my coat, scarf and gloves.

"Kelsey!" I yell, she's been hiding in the nursey all morning long, and she's still in there.

"Hey!" she yells back.

"I'm going to the ob-gyn now! You're needed at the front desk!"

"Coming! And please watch your steps!"

You can bet on that.

"I'll see you later then? Bring Tammy too if she wants to!"

"Yep, I'll ask her! See ya later!"

And then I'm out of the boutique, a harsh wind hitting me right the second I set foot outside. I try to bury my face into the scarf as much as possible, only my eyes remain subjected to the cold.

I make my way down town, towards Dr. Young's office. When I get there, my eyes are stinging like I have pieces of glass in them, and I spend the first couple of minutes massaging my eyebulbs in the waiting room, which is strangely empty and quiet. You'd normally see couples trying to get pregnant, some already pregnant couples and then, although rarely, some single women like me, with or without a bump.

I take my time observing my surroundings and I realize I've never really paid attention to all the flyers, pregnancy essays, health magazines, I didn't even see the rainbow flag hanging on the wall, the letters "LGBTQIA+" written on it in bold black. I take a big breath and realize that even if this is a medical office, it still gives my nerves a chance to calm down. It's a safe space for everyone.

"Ms. Miller, please follow me, Dr. Young can see you now."

*

"Listen to this heartbeat! So strong."

"Is it possible that I can feel it? The heartbeat, I mean. Sometimes when I'm alone, I think I hear it."

"What you're hearing is most probably your aorta pulsing, but it's not impossible technically, so who knows."

I nod my head, clean my belly with the paper Dr. Young provides me with and then I sit down in front of her.

"I've noticed some... abrasions inside," the doctor tells me.

"Come again?"

"When I checked you before, I've noticed some abrasions, most likely due to sex, if I have to guess."

"Oh, abrasions. Yes. Uhm, I've... been having sexual intercourses, yes. I've asked him if it was safe and he told me it was, so..."

"He... is a doctor? It is safe, but be mindful and ready the closest you get to term, okay? Sex doesn't induce labor, but it makes it go faster."

"He is indeed a doctor," I tell her and I have no idea why my cheeks start burning like hell, "and we've been as careful and gentle as... possible. But if there's any advice you can give me, I'm all ears."

"No sex on your back. It decreases blood flow to the baby and we don't want that. Find a position that is comfortable, you are carrying the child, yours is the pain. Your blood flow is currently augmented by 40%, if you go too hard or you find yourself in a position that is uncomfortable, you might experience pain and a little blood loss. Nothing worrisome, but it can happen. There's an upside to all of this though, and that is that for the same reason you could experience pain... Usually pregnancy orgasms are some of the most powerful you'll ever experience, all due to the blood volume increase. It can cause hyper-sensitivity to your erogenous zones."

"Ah. Good to know. No sex on my back. Alright. Thank you."

"No problem, okay, well then," she says, "I believe that is everything for today if you don't have any more questions. Keep on taking those vitamins, and... have fun, but carefully so! I'll see you in a week and a half."

"I've got no further questions at the moment, so... thank you Dr. Young, for everything. I'll see you next time!"

I get out of her office and make my way to... The hospital.