The Cellar

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

            For the next two days, my mother and I slunk around the house like two wary cats, trying to avoid direct contact as much as possible. Weirdly, we were also going out of our way to be more considerate. I started finding notes taped to the bathroom mirror when she went out, and when Derek asked if I wanted another lesson on Thursday afternoon, I asked if we could do it the following week and went straight home. I was stretched out on my bed thinking about what I wanted to ask Elias on Saturday when there was a quiet knock on my door.

            “Can I come in?”

            “Sure.” I sat up as my mother sat on the end of my bed.

            “I wanted to apologize for the other day,” she said, her hands fidgeting in her lap. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. And you were right that I wasn’t exactly fair.”

I hugged my legs and rested my chin on my knees. “I probably shouldn’t have snapped at you either.”

There was a pause, and she cleared her throat. “So, I know we haven’t spent much time together lately, and I thought maybe we could go out to lunch and a movie or something on Saturday to celebrate…my birthday.” My heart rose and then immediately sank. Elias. But I couldn’t say no. I knew what that pause meant. She’d had to stop herself from saying our birthday. We had always celebrated with Uncle Denny. Always.

            “Yeah, that sounds nice.” I forced myself to smile.

            “Okay, then.” My mother stood up. “I’m pretty wiped out. Do you mind fixing yourself some supper?”

            “That’s fine.”

            “See you in the morning, then.” She crossed the hallway to her room and shut the door. I pushed my own door closed, then buried my face in my pillow and groaned. Of course it would be this way, the two things I wanted most scheduled for the exact same time. What would Elias think when I didn’t show up? What if I never saw him again? I tried to think of some reason I could ask my mother to go Sunday instead of Saturday, but came up blank. There was nothing I could do.

***

            After a restless night, I woke up on Saturday feeling gritty-eyed and groggy. My mother had left a note next to the coffee pot. Going out for an errand. Will be back by noon. I rushed through breakfast and went down to the cellar. Maybe Elias would come down early for some reason. Maybe I could still see him after all, at least to tell him what was going on and figure out another time to meet. But as the dial on my watch crept closer to noon, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. Even though I knew it was pointless, I wrote a note for him and left it on my chair. That felt slightly better than doing nothing. It’s going to be okay, I told myself as I climbed the cellar stairs. It had to be. Besides, I didn’t want to ruin the time with my mother feeling awful about Elias if I could help it, otherwise everything was a loss. It seemed to be my fate to have to always be choosing between my mother and someone else.