Diggory Is More Than A Loser (book 3)

12- Talking It Through

Katie's attack very soon became public knowledge, and Celia's roommates kept questioning her about it, since she had witnessed it first hand.
Going over the event numerous times, made Celia feel worse and worse. And knowing that Katie had been moved to St Mungo's, just made her even more worried.
Professor McGonagall escourted Celia to her therapy session the following day, for she didn't want Celia walking to Hogsmeade alone, after what happened to Katie. Initially she hadn't wanted Celia to go at all, because of the danger. But in the end she allowed the session to go ahead, for fear of what would happen to Celia's mental health is she was forced to miss a therapy session.
The weather was just as bad on Sunday, and McGonagall had to perform a spell around the pair of them to keep the heavy snow away from them.

As usual, when Celia arrived in the private room above the Hog's Head, her therapist Vanessa Woodbury, was already there.
Vanessa was a middle aged woman with light brown hair, held up in a high pony tail.
"You made it then. I wasn't sure if you'd be able to get through the snowstorm" admitted Vanessa.
Celia took a seat opposite Vanessa and sighed, "It wasn't easy".
"It's a shame you can't apparate here from Hogwarts" replied Vanessa.
"Yeah, it would be safer and quicker for me if I could apparate at school. But never mind, I'm here now" sighed Celia.

"So, how are you doing? Professor McGonagall sent me an owl yesterday, so I know what happened to Katie Bell. McGonagall was worried about how the incident may have effected you" admitted Vanessa.
"It was a bit frightening, watching Katie rise into the air and begin to scream. I hoped that Madam Pomfrey would be able to make her better, but Katie is in St Mungo's right now, and in a bad condition" replied Celia.
"It wasn't your fault, you know that right. There wasn't anything more you could have done for her" Vanessa said softly.

"Yeah. But I keep thinking that if I had let Harry go and get help straight away, then maybe Katie wouldn't be as ill as she is now. I held him back, because I didn't want him to go running off alone. He's my best friend, so I didn't want anything bad to happen to him. I put his needs above Katie's, and now she's lying in a hospital bed" admitted Celia.
"You were concerned for Harry's wellbeing and there is nothing wrong with that. Caring about someone close to you, is not a sin. Harry also has a target on his back, so it makes sense that were concerned with him running off by himself. But if the two of you only argued for a few moments, then I don't think it had any impact on Katie. She touched a cursed object, and her fate is not your fault" insisted Vanessa.
"I guess not" agreed Celia.

"Aside from feeling guilty, what else are you feeling?" Asked Vanessa.
"I guess scared. I used to feel safe at Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, despite the bad things that have happened in the past. But Katie was an innocent, and she was still targeted. So I'm starting to think that my home isn't as secure as I once thought" answered Celia.
"Katie was attacked in Hogsmeade, not Hogwarts" reminded Vanessa.
"Yeah, but the two are one, in my mind"
"Hogsmeade is not as safe as the castle, for you can apparate here"
"I guess that's true. And I do still love Hogwarts. But I'm looking forward to leaving at Christmas and going to the Burrow. We were supposed to go to the Burrow last year for Christmas, but things had to change when Arthur ended up in St Mungo's".

"I'm sure you are going to have a wonderful Christmas. But you've still got over a month of school left before then. How are your studies going?" Questioned Vanessa.
"O.K I think. I still have a lot of catching up to do, since I kind of gave up on learning last year" admitted Celia.
"You were not well last year, as you were still consumed by grief, and you were being tormented by one of your teachers. And it is O.K that you were not in the right frame of mind, to focus on studying. You shouldn't be angry with the person you were last year. Nor should you blame your past self for all the work you have to do, to catch up this year"
"It's hard not to blame myself for what I allowed myself to become"
"Blaming the old Celia will not change the present or make your life any easier. Nothing can be gained from being mean to yourself".

Celia groaned, "Why are you always right?".
Vanessa grinned, "Because I've been at this a long time, so I know what I'm talking about".
"Did you always want to be a therapist?" Asked Celia curiously.
"I knew that I wanted to help people. And after becoming a Healer, I realised that people's mental scars were just as damaging as their physical ones" revealed Vanessa.
"At least you've always had a goal in mind. I still have no idea what I want to do when I leave Hogwarts"
"You shouldn't force yourself to pick a career before you leave. Not everyone has their whole life mapped out by the time they finish school. You don't have to start working as soon as you have your NEWT results".

"The teachers would disagree with you" mumbled Celia.
"That's why I am not a teacher" replied Vanessa.
"It's not a career path I want to go down either, but neither is Healing" admitted Celia.
"The right career is out there somewhere. And once you've left school and had a chance to explore more of the world, then you will find the job that suits you"
"If there's still a world to explore once all this is over"
"There's the pessimistic side of you coming out"
"Sorry"
"I know things seem dark, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel"
"So everyone is always telling me... Once this is over, we will find out who's right. And for once, I really hope that it's not me".