TW// Self h*rm, swearing, homophobic slur (Where I put the bold --- and the trigger warnings you can start reading again)
Karl woke up in the middle of the night with a nasty, gnawing feeling in his chest, like something was eating at him from the inside (THIS IS EDITING ME AT 3AM- DON'T DO IT! I CAN PICTURE THE COMMENTS ALREADY), slowly making him feel worse and worse.
---slur---
His mind full of the memories of his stream, things like 'Go k*ll urself' and 'U waste of oxygen. Ppl actually watch him? Wtf?!'He knew that no-one loved him anymore, so what was the point of telling anyone. They would only call him a "fag", despite him never saying anything about his sexuality other than he thought he was in the asexual spectrum. I guess people will use any insult to try and hurt someone. Btw I have seen people saying this in his chat irl, like wtf? They would tell him he was cringy, and ruined Mr. Beast, and they should be on the SMP instead of him. Slowly, Karl walked downstairs, tears silently streaming down his face, wondering why he was still alive. What was the point, he didn't belong anywhere, wasn't loved, even as a friend, had no-one to hug him, and tell it would be ok. He wished he could go back to being a child, young, and looking forward to adulthood, but instead, here he was, a lonely member of the Dream SMP, wishing his fans could help, but no, they would only make it worse.
-----slur has been said, sh about to start-----
As he walked into the kitchen, opening the drawer, he looked down at the white scars on his arm, and how long he'd been clean for. Razors were not enough. He thought, as slowly he drew the knife from his drawer, pushing the blade into his skin. One for being worthless. One for ruining Mr Beast. One for being so abnormal (WHY couldn't he feel sexual attraction like a normal person? Why didn't his parents accept him?). One for being so cringy. One for not being loved. One for being ugly. One for not being there when his parents died. Staring at the cuts embedded deep into his arm, he began to cry, wishing there was someone to love him, and tell him his scars were beautiful.
--Trigger warnings over, but CW// description of injury, and f slur (and toxic masculinity, but that ain't nothing new)--
Sapnap POV
His dad was angry. His mum had left the house, leaving him to deal with his father's anger. It hurt him how his mum could just leave, not realising what she was putting Sapnap though, not caring, just leaving. His dad was an alcoholic, coming home angry and drunk nearly every night. Sometimes when his dad was angry he would hit Sapnap, and when the school asked why he came on covered in visible injuries his dad would blame it on sports. But today he'd had enough. He couldn't keep living like this. Tonight was the worst of all. Bottles were flying at his heart, splitting into hundreds of tiny pieces, each hurting more then the last. But what hurt most were the words. Disgusting words were spilling from his mouth like they meant nothing, but striking Nick with so much fierce he sprinted to his room, only to still hear his fath- No. That man may have been the one who raised him, but he was not Sapnap's father, and would never be. His father wouldn't shout
"YOU LITTLE FAG! THIS ISN'T THE MAN YOUR MOTHER AND I RAISED YOU TO BE!! THE MAN WE RAISED WOULD COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME, MAN TO MAN, FIST TO FIST, SO STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY BEFORE I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!"
He had to leave before the bruises running down his back were worsened by his dad's cruel hand. He had to leave. For good, or just for the night, he wasn't sure, but he couldn't stay in that disgusting house with his intoxicated father. He couldn't go to anyone who lived with parents. Too many questions would be asked. He had stayed with Dream before, so he texted Dream.
Sapnap: can I cum to urs?
Dream: CUM?!
Sapnap: *COME
Sapnap: SHIT
Sapnap: *COME COME COME COME COME COME
Sapnap: sowwy 🥺
Sapnap: well?
Dream: no, soz.
Dream: family dinner😫😭
Sapnap: fine, ur loss
Dream:💀
He knew he couldn't be alone with his dad any longer, and Karl lived nearby. But he wouldn't respond to the texts for ages, so he would just have to run to his, before his injuries could be worsened. He ran to the garage, grabbing the last of his money to pay for a taxi.
A/N sorry about the slow progress, I'm not in the best place at the moment, and I have to do everything on mobile, which takes ages. Please gimme title ideas!!!! this is my first fan fic, so it's going to be pretty shitty.
Ilysm!
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Karlnap - Life isn't quite what I thought I'd be
Fanfiction"It's just I can't live without you, Karl. Every time I see you cry, something in me fades away." Despite the first chapter, this isn't a text story Note: There probably won't be any smut (*uNLess wE hIt 100 sUBs*) And to any Karl Jacobs haters, ple...
