For as long as you need me

6. Your dreams are scary

I'm paranoid of all the glances as I'm walking home. I can't help but think that life would be that much easier if I were a boy, and perceived as one. My family might actually like me, I wouldn't have to be scared walking home, and I would actually get treated decently by other people.

Jacky keeps talking about some game behind me and I try my best to pay attention but I just can't bring myself to listen about how many times he dies in the same part of the game. "Forget the game. If you can't beat it today, try again tomorrow. Keep trying if you want to." He looks up from his phone as I move his body onto the crosswalk from where he drifted. "But I want to beat it now. I might be too tired to play tomorrow."

I sigh, " Then don't play it tomorrow, since you can't win at the moment." He keeps tapping his screen and I start walking up the hill to our house, making sure he's behind me every few seconds. I stopped hearing the taps and I turn around to see him looking at his phone, a bit annoyed. "I lost." I put his phone in his pocket and laugh, "One would think so. If you really want something, keep working on it until you get it. Also keep trying other ways to win it, and not the same strategy over and over again."

I produce the keys from my pocket and toss it him, groaning when he drops them. "Open the door." He rolls his eyes and sucks in his teeth, "Why can't you do it? You already had it." I keep my eyes on him as he tries to find the correct key, "Because you don't do anything for yourself or for others, you barely knew how to tie your shoes or open doors. Open the damn door already." He gets defensive and I can hear him talking under his breath but I choose to ignore it and pushed the door open after it took him a concerning amount of time to turn the key.

"I'm going to leave this in mom's room, or do you want to give it to her." He puts the keys on the table and unceremoniously drops his bag to the ground, kicks of his shoes and runs upstairs. "Yea, no. Have fun." I make a mental note to tell the kid to not run off in the middle of a conversation and can only hope he doesn't act like this in school or towards other people.

I move his shoes so that they don't block the entrance of the staircase and throw his backpack on the living room couch. I make my way upstairs and I didn't hear anything come from my mom's room so I assumed she wasn't home. As always. I leave the food on top of the fridge and see that Jacky was going over the game level with Jess as well and I just feel a wave of irritation fall over me. "I told you to play tomorrow. You have to clean yourself up for tomorrow." He finishes explaining the game instructions to her and turns to look at me, "I can do that later, I wanna beat it today so I don't forget the player's stats and attacks tomorrow."

Jess just keeps playing with him peering over her shoulder, so I just went to my room, "I cannot care anymore, just make sure you get it done before you sleep. I'm going to play piano a bit before I go shower." I lock my door and put down my bag, "Make sure that you finish your homework too, and that it's correct. Don't make stupid mistakes and read it over." He grunts and I can hear the game going again as there's some shuffling in the room. I sit down on my piano bench and move the curtain covering it and breathe in and out and shift to make sure that my posture is straight, wincing with the effort. The back problems are killer.

I started with a small warm up and gradually start to warm up my fingers. I then started playing a new song I learned from Steven Universe, Escapism. I went slower and had my phone next to me playing the song, so I matched the tempo together. I didn't learn from sheet music so this was a bit more difficult to match up but adjusting the keys a little made it work. I kept playing it over and over until I realized that half an hour passed. I pull out my phone and start recording so I could film my progress.

When I finished, I closed the piano and put the curtain on it again as I get ready to shower. I gathered my clothes and towel, hanging them over my shoulder and walk out of my room. Jacky was on his bed without a towel, so his bedsheets were catching the water droplets so I reach out to throw his towel at him. "Make sure your hair is dry when you sleep so you don't get sick tomorrow morning." He rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything and I raised my eyebrow at Jess and she looked up when she heard me gesturing at the bathroom door. "I'm going to shower tomorrow morning." I nod and close the door, and set my clothes on the hanger.