' lights .

' regret .

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

She'd just sit there. Feeling Blank. Numb. The only thing that she had on her mind was, what would happen if he figured it out. Did she love him? Did she love Iffat? Or was it just an accident? She felt so. Confused. Is this how she really felt? She'd pick up her phone and realize it was now 10:30 pm. She felt blank. Empty. She thought "I need to feel something." "But I don't deserve anything.".

She'd walk downstairs. Trembling with every step. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. While she held it, she had flashbacks. Flashbacks of when she was at her worst. Well. Maybe now. This is considered "her worst.". She'd take off her sweater leaving her only in a shirt. That's when she took the blade. And slit her arm. Blood going everywhere. She realized how deep she went into her skin. She quickly wiped up the blood and put her sweater back on.

She'd just stand there. Feeling like she failed. Everyone. Until she heard a ding. It was a message from Iffat "I'm outside". Kim looked shocked. She quickly went outside to where she saw Iffat. Wiping her tears and walking over to her. She'd get to her and start trying to explain. But iffat stopped her and said, "I'll love you forever Kim.". Kim had a happy look on her face "You will?". "Yes.", Iffat said while Kim was smiling. Iffat would smile as well. "When are you going to tell Minseo.". Kim's smile would fade "Soon. I promise.".

Iffat would stare at Kim and then kiss her. At this moment. Kim felt. Happy. Not just the happiness you'd feel when something good happened. It was. Different. She felt safe. She felt like. Herself. She finally felt complete. She didn't think of any of the consequences later. She just wanted to feel happy. Finally, the kiss stopped. Kim smiled and held Iffat's hand. Iffat would smile. Kim thought to herself "Her beautiful smile. The one that makes me feel loved. Without her. I could never. Be complete."

Iffat would hug Kim tightly, "It's time for me to go.". Kim would smile "Don't worry I'll figure out everything, just for you Iffat.". They'd say their goodbyes and Iffat would drive off. Kim went back into the house and washed the knife off from earlier. She ran upstairs into her room. She sat on her bed and started crying. But this time, she was crying from happiness. She finally felt. Happy. She didn't feel confused. She loved someone. And they loved her too. She'd turn off her room light and lay down in her bed.

She had almost fallen asleep until she heard a ding. It was Minseo. The text read, "Goodnight Kim, sorry we couldn't spend time today! :(, I love you goodnight <3." She felt like, she had betrayed him. He was a great person. A great boyfriend. But Kim had to mess it up didn't she. Kim would just ignore it and rollover. She thought to herself "He'll understand right?" "right?". She'd shed a tear. Feeling like a horrible person. But she can't control her feelings. So this was bound to happen eventually, right? She'd fall asleep, feeling horrible.

Authors note: sorry this is so short <\3.