It ends with you (Rafe Cameron)

𝚟𝚒𝚒𝚒. 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍

She dreamt of Jonah that night.

Flashes of the fight she'd had with him two weeks before his death resurfaced.

She'd found a stack of pills hidden away in a hollowed out part of his mattress. She'd been so mad at him, furious. Because how could he be so selfish? How could he throw away his life like that when mom and dad and Rue needed him. She'd screamed at him, she'd called him many things that night. She's called him a worthless piece of shit brother. And she'd seen the same look of hurt cross his eyes as Rafe had held when he drove off on his bike that night.

And in her dream she saw Jonah sitting on his bed when she'd come back home later that night. He was quiet, his chest bare, his head resting against the wall at the side of his bed. An ashtray had been put on his mattress, three unsmoked cigarettes burned out in them.
Rue had walked closer, had knelt down next to him and slapped a hand over her mouth as she saw the state her brother was in. His eyes had been red from crying and a series of circular burns trailed down his chest.

"Jonah, what have you done?" She'd hurried up to get the first aid kit, to heal whatever she could of his wounds and he allowed her to, not moving an inch.

"I deserved it," he'd said. "I'm a fuck up. You'd be better off without me." When she looked up at his face again, she saw Jonah's round features had made place for a sharp jaw, his brunette curls turned into blonde strands and his green eyes faded to blue. She stared at him, jaw dropped, hands trembling as Rafe looked at her the way her brother had that night. "I deserved it, Rue."

She woke up with a jolt, pain tugging at the edges of her heart and a cold sweat sticking on the back of her neck. When she turned to look at the alarm clock she saw it was a little past three in the morning and the uneasy feeling that had settled in the pit of her stomach made her swing her legs over the edge of her bed, jump into a pair of joggers and rush down the stairs.

She drove to Taneyhill with fear and worry in her bones, ripping through the streets of the Outer Banks as she hoped her gut feeling was wrong. She had seen her brother in Rafe's eyes, had heard Jonah's pleas for help in Rafe's anger. She'd lost her brother because she was too late to notice he'd tried to reach out to her. She would not let the same happen to Rafe.

Taneyhill was empty. The partygoers had returned to their homes and left the place smelling of alcohol and weed. Cups were scattered across the grass and marble flooring inside and Rue passed what appeared to be a bra slung over the banister as she rushed up the stairs.

"Rafe!" She yelled as she swung open doors and went from room to room. "Rafe!" No answer came. She moved down the hall, pushing her back against doors until she found one that was locked. She rattled the handle forcefully. "Rafe, are you in there?" No answer. "Please, please if you're in there, open up."

She pushed her back against the door, rushing a hand through her hair as the house remained silent. And then she could hear him, weakly, softly, but he was there. The lock clicked and by the time Rue had gotten inside the room, Rafe had sat down on the ground again.

The room was beaten to bits, broken pieces of a chair sprawled over the carpet, the blankets from his bed shredded. A hole somewhere in the wall. She kneeled down in front of him, as she'd done with her brother all those months ago.

"What did you do?" She questioned as her eyes trailed over the ripped open knuckles on his hands, the bloody stains on his white vest top and his dilated pupils. "What did you take?" She took his head in her hands, wiping the remainder of white powder from underneath his nose and she felt her muscles tense and her heartbeat pick up.

"Leave me," he groaned. He didn't look at her. For a second she thought about getting up and running as fast and as far away from Taneyhill as she could. But she forced herself to see Jonah's white face and closed eyes the day he was brought to the hospital.

"I'm not letting you down again," she mumbled. "I'm here this time, Jonah."

"Jonah?" He trailed her brother's name and she didn't correct herself. It didn't matter, Rafe would've forgotten about their encounter when he woke up in the morning.

Rue had forced him to drink water and after numerous attempts she'd managed to peel him off the ground and get him in his bed. There wasn't much else she could do, he would have to sleep it off. She'd taken it upon herself to take the white tank off his body and used a wet cloth to clean the blood off his knuckles as she sat on the side of his bed.

"Why did you do this?" She mumbled to herself as Rafe's stirred in his pillow. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling at an irregular pace.

"I deserved it."

I deserved it.

Those words echoed in the back of her head and they made her sick to her stomach. He didn't deserve it. Neither of them had. They didn't deserve to feel like shit for the things she had said. They didn't deserve the pain that came from feeling like they weren't good enough, that their friends and family talked behind their backs and forced them to feel like any less than they were.

Jonah didn't deserve to die.
Rafe didn't deserve the pain.

She stayed with him until the morning. Rafe slept, soundly, and she had curled up in a chair that was stationed in the corner of his room. She'd cleaned up a bit before she'd fallen asleep, brushed the broken pieces from his outburst aside and thrown the dirty rags she'd used to clean up his blood with in the trash.
The sound of the cleaning ladies washing away the events of the night before had woken her up from an uncomfortable slumber. Rafe was still fast asleep and Rue disappeared before he could wake up, sneaking outside of Taneyhill and returning home.

"You've been out all night?" her mother asked as she walked through the front door.

Rue shook her head. "A friend needed me."

She didn't want to lie to her mom, but she also didn't want to tell her she'd driven off to Taneyhill to take care of a boy who was so drugged up he couldn't stand on his feet. All of them had been hurt by Jonah's passing, but it was her mom who'd found him in his room as he choked on a puddle of his own vomit. She'd never get that image out of her head anymore. It would stay with her for the rest of her life and Rue knew her mother hadn't slept ever since it had happened, nightmares keeping her up.

"Everything alright?"

"I hope so."

"You want to talk about it?" She shook her head. "You know your dad and I are here for you if you needs us, right baby? For your friends too."

Rue smiled softly.

"I know."

She dragged her tired body back up the stairs, stripped out of her clothes and fell face first into her pillow. Sleep took her quicker than she'd expected it too, but when she closed her eyes, the darkness turned the images of her mind into nightmares. She saw Jonah, blue lips, skin as pale as the sheets he was draped in.

And Rafe next to him.