The Basement

Chapter 11

"Do you think i can get a job?" I asked Jack whilst we were lining up for smoothies.

He glanced down at me confused, "What's brought this up?"

"Welll i just think i should be paying rent, i feel guilty that you're parents have to pay everything for me"

"You're aunt and uncle" he corrected me, stepping up to the counter and ordering one chocolate and one strawberry smoothie. I licked my lips at the thought of having one again. The last time I'd drank a smoothie was when i was around 12.

He paid for our drinks and we sat down at a vacant table nearby, "Look, you don't have to pay for yourself with us, your family"

I looked down at my smoothie and stirred it with my straw. "What college do you go?" I asked. Maybe if his college seemed good enough i could join his, at least then I'd know someone.

"I'm currently in an apprenticeship"

I made a face and he laughed, "Don't worry, you'll be fine"

"Alright then, tell me about your apprenticeship" I sipped my milkshake and savoured the lumpy strawberry liquid that ran along my tongue.

"I'm an accountant. Well training to be" he grinned proudly and drank his milkshake.

"Well done!" I chirped, wondering if i was smart enough to get as good of a job.

I made him tell me all about it. How the meeting was, what it was like, who he works with etc.

All the while i sipped my milkshake and had my chin rested on my hand, watching him happily talk about his job. Just from this conversation could i already tell that the job meant a great deal to him.

He surprised me by saying that he didn't quite get the grades to be an accountant and that he had to retake major subjects before his boss could make him an apprentice. I listened intently as he described how much revision he crammed into his days. He made it sound like he had absolutely no social life whatsoever and that day and night he revised.

The more he told me about how worried he'd been the less i wanted to go to college. Would i really be able to handle the stress that came with going?

A while later, both myself and Jack were sat at a bench watching the penguins be fed and i looked towards him, thinking that it was the right time to ask him a question.

"Jack?"

He turned to me with a faint smile.

"What happened to Derek?"

His face immediately dropped and he turned away, facing the penguins. I waited for him to tell me but the only thing that happened was the tension that grew.

"Jack I have a right to know"

He looked at me once again and narrowed his eyes, trying to decipher what i was doing. "I can't say"

A tingling sensation grew from my spine to my chest and hands as i clenched my fingers into fists. "Take me home now" i ordered through gritted teeth.

He looked surprised at my tone but nodded and stood up. We weaved our way through the crowd of families and children, making it to his car.

As soon as he unlocked it i got inside and buckled my seatbelt, folding my arms and looking out the side window, avoiding having to look at him.

The drive home was awkward. The tension between me and my cousin was so unbearable it would've been hard to breath if i hadn't had my window down.

He parked in the drive and i practically dove out the door, speed walking to the front door and pushing it open.

"Emily!" He called after me. I ignored him and went straight up to my room, slamming the door just as i saw him run up the stairs.

I sat on my bed, leaning my back against the headboard.

"Em"
He knocked gently but didn't enter.

He sighed,"I want to tell you but i can't"

I glared at the door and scoffed, "Can't or just won't"

He was silent and then i heard the faint steps of him walking downstairs. When I felt like he wouldn't be able to hear me, i buried my face in my hands and cried.

Sure the guy stabbed me with a knife but i deserved to know why. I did nothing but nurse his wounds after my dad beat him up, i did nothing but care for him. I didn't want justice but to simply know why he did what he did. There must be some kind of reasonable explanation. Besides i wanted to see him. He may have hurt me physically and maybe a bit mentally but I'd liked him.

You still do

No! I shook my head, trying to rid the thoughts from my mind. No i can't! It's not possible.

But it is

I cried out in anger and flung out my arm knocking my bedside lamp to the floor.

I didn't stop there.

I stood up and ran to my shelves, throwing everything that would break, shatter, make a loud crash, to the floor.

I still felt my anger inside of me but it had eased when I was breaking things.

I sat down in the broken mess and sobbed to my hearts content. I cried for my mum, I cried for the suffering she had to go through, i cried for the insanity that controlled my dad, i cried for Derek but most of all, i cried for myself.