Leave ME Alone

XXV

Tev POV

~PLAY SONG~

As Im laying in my bed, looking out as the rain cascades down my window, Im playing the Butterfly album, thinking about my life. Its funny how Mariah Carey doesn't even know me, but somehow she created a whole album for my awakening. The magnum opus? The song The Roof.

Something about that track makes me sad yet happy; lust-filled yet heartbroken. Its kinda hard to explain, but long story short, this song helps me from going insane.....

Which is exactly how I feel without Marcus.

Im suddenly taken away from my thoughts as a few knocks can be heard from outside my door. I yell for it to be open, only to find Mother.

"Oh, its just you Mother."

"Well God, don't sound so happy to see me. Next time, I'll roll in a wheelchair. Hopefully then you'll show some type of care."

"Mother, please. Not today...im really down in the dumps and I honestly don't have the energy to argue."

"I'm not here to argue. Truth be told, I come baring gifts."

I sit up, looking at her awkwardly as she has a tight lipped smile on her face. Though cautious, I take the bait. I reached for the remote and turn off the music. She notices and comes to my bed with this huge red box.

"What's this Mother? If this is what I think it is, I'm not changing my mind. Vincent, Vanessa and I agreed that I get the Monte Carlo estate when its time."

"No Tevin, this is not my will in this box. This is your father's. Before he died, he condensed all of his paperwork into a flashdrive, all of his accolades are in storage, but he wanted something for you kids to touch so...these items are personal."

My eyes became huge in shock. I didn't know that Father would leave anything for us to remember him by. As crazy as it may sound, my father wasn't a 'hold on to memorabilia' type of guy. He thought everything that wasn't built in was clutter so he threw lots of stuff away. Which was perfect when the IRS tried to seize the label back in 2005 (they found nothing 😆).

"Why are you showing me this? Why now, Mother?"

"Honestly....because I feel bad. I know how close you and your Father was. Senior loved you so dearly. I know you were his second favorite...."

"SECOND????"

"Oh dear, c'mon you know your Father and Vanessa were practically one in the same."

"True."

"Enough talking. Here. Open." I do what she says and open the lid to the box. Assuming it was cardboard, Im shocked by the weight on the red (painted) wooden box as pictures and journals were laid across. Everything in this box was just like him: organized, tight and smelled of sweet cologne. If I closed my eyes, I could feel his presence in the room just by the smell of this box. His hand on my shoulder, telling me to 'shoot for the stars and beyond' as I wake up in the morning. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder, comforting me. I open my eyes again, to see its Mother with a sorrowful look in her eyes. She takes her left hand to wipe my face as tears I didn't know where there had fallen down my face.

"Tevin. Its okay to cry. You cant hold everything in. Your Father wouldn't like seeing you like this. Not expressing yourself."

"I know," I say through sniffles, "its just....this is just so messed up. I hate cancer! I fucking hate it!!! Why did cancer have to take my dad? Its just so not fair." As I rant through tears, Mother tearfully embraces me, and to be honest, Im a little shocked. Its a warm and tight hug and she's drawing circles on my back. This level of comfort is so rare from her its like I reached level 10 in a mother-son video game.

"Tevin," Mother began, "no matter what obstacles you and I go through....I'll always have your back through guidance, tough love and strong opinionated-will. But I can also be a softy like this from time to time. I am your mother and I love you."

"[Chuckles] I love you too, crazy lady. I never stopped. But thanks."

"No problem. Now go through the box, sort of your feelings and I'll go cook."

"Yes Mother. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I'll be back."

She leaves towards the kitchen, I start to look through the box. There were so many letters, certificates and invitations to industry events it was hard to keep up. A picture of Father with Whitney Houston and BeBe Winans after she won Album of the Year at the Grammys; an certificate from ASCAP for co-written contribution to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls; a letter with a rose wax stamp. I open it to see what is inside.

Turns out, its a love letter to Mother, dated as far back as 1979. It reads:

My darling Deena.....

You are true love's dream in physical form. Your dear shaped eyes only make your vision of me so pure that Im not longed for this world; but with your smile, I'll die happy. This letter is to show how much I miss you out here in Los Angeles. When the label gets its footing, I will return the Big Apple and show my parents the responsible and determined son that they didn't believe was there. You, my love, are the only one who sees the greatness in me and your love is what motivates me to keep pushing. I'll always push harder as long as your love is in my corner. This love letter is the first of many...but not the last. But save this one so our kids one day can have a good laugh.

Love always, your Vincent.

Im crying and happy at the same time. My dad lived for my mom and he worked hard just to get back to her. Father told me many stories on how his parents didn't approve of Mother because she was from Detroit. Her father was in the mob life so she was born in it. She met my dad on a trip in New York when she was 15, my dad was 17. Love at first glance and the rest was history.

Attached to the letter, was a black and white photo of my dad.

He loved the 40s, 50s and 60s so its not surprising to find a photo like this of him in 1986. Father was weird. Good weird, though.

I was so deep into the pictures, I halfway didn't hear the knock on my bedroom door. I quickly wipe my face clean, adjusting my clothes as I head to the door. I open it and to my surprise....there he stood.

"Sup Freshman."