Dear Bob

chapter 2

Regret

Dread and anxiety chilled my spine as I stepped off the bus the next morning. I stood in front It Jason's apartment....His neighbor Archer was just coming home from a run....at least I thought...The previous night I had thought so much about what Jason and I had and I said to myself that we had to at leastt talk it out....i mean I had to atleast try before i give up

I stood in front of Jason's apartment building , with my head bowed low, arguing with myself over whether or not i should go in and try talking it out with Jason...i wasn't readt to be lonely all over again...

It had been two days since the intense fight Jason and I had and he had gone to prom without me .
There was no communication between us for that period i was worried for us....well at least for me.
I knew good things didn't last. Every time something good happened something bad followed and maybe , just maybe, this time it would be good again

If Jason rejected my apology, I didn't know if i could handle it...
It would be an embarrassing moment for me
Tears rolled down my cheeks and i closed my sore, painful eyes....all this was too much for me.I mean,it was enough that my Biology teacher Mr. Baylor was already on my back.. complaining of how my grades were not pleasing at all.

My fears were nipping at my heels, waiting to pounce at my slightest weakness.i took a deep breath, pushing away my anxiety.Gathering my courage, i steeped forward and rang the door bell to Jason's building apartment. What if Jason would would refuse to accept my apology?What if he had already given up on me and realized i wasn't worth it?
Previously, the main reason why Jason and i had a fight was because he was texting Jenner from my class, the blue-eyed Blondie, who was admired by almost all boys in my school ...i was jealous...i know i didn't have a reason to be but i was and i wasn't fair to Jayjay...

"I will always fight for you, for us..." I remembered Jason's words and realized that it was my fault and I had to fess up to my missteps.
I had to fight for us as Jason could.Did he relish her? Since i didn't have a chance to read his messages were they discreetly in love maybe?
Jenner wore elegant looking extensions that bounced against her lower back. She looked as innocent as a dove...i felt so guilty
Or maybe....was she a snake behind that beautiful innocent face?
"Hey" Jason snapped me out of my thoughts... I took two steps backwards bitting my lip and slowly replied and he invited me in....i had to apologize... atleast that's what i thought was right...he stood there without even offering me a sit and with a smack on his face asked"What brings you here" ? Those four words made me alter my thoughts .I was nervous and dazed at the same time...i thought he would welcome me.What If i had apologized before I realized the smack on his face and the fact that he was not ready to see me yet?

I want my biology book back...i need it for the Grand biology contest next week..All that information was unnecessary but i had to make something up.
He quickly went to the house bar table, took the book, and handed it over to me, and without even looking me In the eye , opened the door and told me to leave his apartment.

As I walking to the bus stop all I could think about was how he hadn't even noticed the apologetic look in my eyes. The bus arrived ten minutes later. I blinked and pulled myself out of the thoughts. I quickly boarded and was home within no time.
I ran across the street to my house almost tripping in my rush.A car behind me tooted and startled me.I turned around and found Lina inside the car grinning at me.When she texted earlier, I ignored her because I did not want to lie to my best friend and I knew if I had told her I was going to Jason's she would have denied me the chance .She opened the door to her car and called out for me.I felt tears price my eyes as I walked towards her
"I'm sorry I....I" I tried to tell Lina the truth but my heart was so heavy .I was willing to tell my best friend everything but I just couldn't bring myself to do it
"Hush no" She said to me...."we'll talk about all that later."

Lina always had my back since third grade when we moved to Oakland and I really appreciated her.i really had to tell her I had gone to Jason's