Lethal Lucas: Adventures in the TVA (and Riddlette Too!) [CANCELLED]

The story begins

Years ago, in December 2017...

*Light and Lucas appear in the backseat of Lucas's car, past Lucas is driving in a blizzard*

Light: Oh my gosh it works!

Future Lucas: I told you! We're back right before I accidentally killed Santa Claus and became the next one!

Lucas: *singing* BELIEVE IT OR NOT I'M WALKING ON AIR I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FEEL SO FRE—

Future Lucas: I'm hungry. *Sprinkles pepper on a sandwich*

Lucas: *sneezes from pepper* Achoo!

Future Lucas: Gesundheit.

Lucas: Thank you......!!!!!! *Looks behind him* !!!! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Future Lucas and Light: AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Future Lucas: Let's go!

*They disappear to the future*

Lucas: YAAHHHH!!! *Sees Santa Claus in the road and swerves and misses him, but crashes into a tree*

Lucas: *dizzy* Mommy, my train went swimming in the piano.

Santa: *runs over* Are you ok son?!

Lucas: Yes I think so. Are you?

Santa: Yes, you gave me quite a scare there.

Lucas: Yeah sorry about that—

*A square portal opens up and two TVA Hunters walk out*

Hunter 1: There's the Variant *points to Lucas*

Lucas: Uh oh.

Hunter 1: Alright Lucas, by the authority of the TVA, you're under arrest for crimes against the sacred timeline.

Lucas: AAAAA!!!! *Runs*

Hunter 2: He's getting away! *They run after him*

Lucas: I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL!!!

Hunter 1: He's fast, I'll give him that.

Hunter 2: But not fast enough!

Lucas: AIEEEEE!!!!

*they catch up and tackle him and slap a time twister displacement collar on him and handcuffs*

Lucas: C'mon guys I'm innocent I tells ya! What do you guys want? Is this about the King?  The Burger King? I can take you to him!

Hunter 1: Tell it to the judge, Variant.

*they walk through a portal to the TVA*

Lucas: Oh dear...

*Soon, he's in a tan jumpsuit that says TVA and in a courtroom, standing trial*

Lucas: I swear that the noodle incident was Burger King's fault ok? It was all his idea!

Judge: We are dealing with two variants today. Since we are busy, we will judge both of them simultaneously.

*just then, Riddlette, also in a TVA jumpsuit, along with her dogs, Dugan and Adam, also in jumpsuits, are escorted in by a TVA Hunter*

Riddlette: Puddin' I swear I was gonna pay for that Loki hoodie—oh! Lucas, you're here too.

Lucas: I'm sorry, who are you?

Riddlette: It's me Puddin'...Riddlette?

Lucas: I don't think we've met.

Riddlette: ...Ohhhhhhh you must be a Variant of Lucas from before Connor met me.

Judge: Silence! We will now commence with judgment. First off: Lucas, Variant A113, is charged with sequence violation 3-76-88. How do you plead?

Lucas: ...what? What the hell is this about?

Judge: Sigh....Long ago there was a multiversal war that almost destroyed existence so all universes were closed into one sacred timeline. But every once in a while someone on the path steps out of line and causes a Nexus event. And so to stop a new universe from being created we arrest that person. We call them variants. Now how do you plead?

Lucas: ...but what did I do?

Judge: You avoided hitting Santa Claus with your car and becoming the next Santa and created a Nexus event.

Lucas: ...O_O. And I'm in trouble for that?

Judge: Yes.

Lucas: But it was an accident! Plus I was distracted because two random guys were in my car!

Judge: Yes, the original you and Light Yagami testing time travel. But they were supposed to happen that was part of the sacred timeline, you avoiding hitting Santa was not.

Lucas: Technically if they were supposed to do all that and scare me, then isn't me not hitting Santa part of the plan then?

Judge: I...look how do you plead?

Lucas: Not guilty.

Judge: Moving on. Now, this Riddlette...*looking through her file*... goddammit you're another Loki Variant?

Riddlette: I mean, I thought it was kinda obvious.

TVA Hunter: *crouching down and petting the dogs* She's got a point.

Judge: Hunter C-25, get away from those beasts, they're savage and dangerous creatures.

Hunter C-25: Awww dangerously cute!

Judge: Sigh... Riddlette how do you plead?

Riddlette: Not guilty. Duh.

Judge: Well you're both guilty. Prune them.

Hunter C-25: awwww....*prepares to prune them when...*

Voice: Wait a minute.

*Everyone looks in the direction of the voice. A figure stands in the shadows*

Voice: If I may...*he steps out of the shadows, it's Mobius M. Mobius*

Mobius: I think they could be of some use to us.