A Name

Coming Out... Kinda

Karas POV

"I'm gonna do it." I say out of the blue in mine and Alex's shared room.

"Do what?" Alex tilted her head slightly.

"Come out. I'm gonna tell Eliza."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You're still not sure how she'll react."

"It's Eliza. She'll still love me."

"If you say so..." Alex briefly bites her lip, "Would you have somewhere to stay?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you get kicked out. Do you have someway to go. Just in case."

***

Alex had looked genuinely worried. I poke at the food sitting on my plate. What if I do get kicked out?

"Is everything alright Kamden?" Eliza had eventually asked when she noticed my untouched food. Of course.

"Hm? Oh yeah I was just... thinking." I poke at the broccoli on the side of my plate.

"Thinking about what?" Jeremiah was next to ask.

"Um..." I clear my throat, "Nia is well-"

"Oh! Do you have a crush on the sweet girl?" Eliza has always been one to jump to conclusions.

"Well not exactly-" I try to correct her thinking.

"How exciting? This is Kam's first crush he's had on a girl! And she just happens to live in the neighborhood it's almost perfect!"

I look over to Alex, a silent plead for help. She just shrugs as she goes back to eating. My first attempt at coming out didn't go well.

Throughout the month I had tried time and time again to tell Eliza. I learned after the fourth attempt that trying to use Nia as an example only fed the "Kamden has a crush" idea. I'm pretty sure Eliza thought I was ready to ask Nia on a date. Just the thought made me wanna throw up. Eventually I just opted for telling the school. If Eliza finds out Eliza finds out. No bid deal. I think...

***

I walked into school and met up with Nia, Brainy, and Winn. Nia seemed to be almost bouncing off of the walls with excitement. Once I got close enough she immediately started talking.

"Since today's the big day I brought you a little pronoun pin I wore at the beginning of my transition!"

She pins it on my baggy clothes that I've opted towards the longer my hair has gotten. Eliza keeps saying I should care more for my appearance. She thinks I should cut my hair to it's old clean look and go back to the cloths she would purchase for me instead of outfits that were two sizes too big. They made me feel better about myself though so I kept them.

I smile down at the small pin, "Thanks Nia, that means a lot."

So what's your big plan for telling people?" Brainy asks.

I didn't think it through that far, "Im not really sure... what did you do Nia?"

"I told the teacher before class started when I came out. Some offered to tell the rest of the class others didn't. Word spread quickly through so it didn't matter much after first period anyway."

We continued to talk about different methods as we came up to my classes door. We bid our goodbyes as I walked in. I look at all of the kids laughing and making jokes. I used to envy how they all seemed to fit in. Turns out I just hadn't found my group yet. I walk up to the teachers desk. Im glad I have Mr. J'onzz first. He's always seemed less intimidating.

"What can I help you with today Mr. Danvers?" He asks with his easy smile.

"So um... I was wondering if it would be possible for you to refer to me less as Mr. Danvers and maybe mor as Ms. Danvers...?"

"I'm not quite sure I understand fully..."

"Well, I've come to the conclusion that I'm trans and would like to go by she and her pronouns. The name Kara too if possible."

"Kara..." he says taking a moment to think, "I quite like that. It suits you. Would you like to tell the class at all?"

"I was hoping you'd do that for me..." I say with a nervous smile.

Mr. J'onzz simply nods as I go and sit in my seat. He makes the announcement and there are a few rude remarks. Nia had warned me that it would probably happen at least a few times for the first little while. Most of the comments came from Mike and his jerk friends. I'm sure Lena is going to have a devils day when she finds out. ("Little Danvers so pathetic, couldn't even tell people and had to have teachers do it." Lena remarks third period as her friend just laugh around her.)

***

Throughly the rest of the day word had spread as I hoped and everyone knew that Kamden now preferred Kara. Some people congratulated me while others poke fun. All and all I had survived my first day as Kara... almost. On my way out of the building as I was tucking away my pronoun pin Nia had given me earlier Mike and his buddy James grabbed my arm.

"Hey freak." Mike spat.

"Let me go..." I murmur.

"So he does talk." James smirks, "That will make this all the more fun."

I try to pry my arm away with no success. We may both have testosterone but they're far stronger. I didn't realize how much stronger until Mike punched me in the gut. In my many years of being bullied, I had never been physically abused by my peers. Never. I wince at the pain as I double over. James takes the next strike. I feel like I'm gonna puke. Mike finally let's go of my arm as I drove to the floor. He looks like he's about ready to kick me.

"Hey!" I hear a feminine voice call as they rush towards me.

"Lena!" Mike calls, a smile evident in his voice. Of course, "Come to take a wack at the freak? He's at the perfect angle for a kick."

I brace myself for the impact as I hear a loud slap. I wait for the pain. It doesn't come.

"Leave her alone dumbass!" Lena growls. She didn't... "From now on, Kara is mine to mess with and mine alone. Got that? I don't wanna hear about you or anyone else messing with her."

"Or what?" James asks walking closer to her.

"My mother tells Ms Grant you were harassing a trans student. I'm sure you'd get suspended very quickly don't you agree?" It's Lenas turn to take a step closer, "I'm sure your father would be pleased to hear about that... wouldn't he?"

"Ass." He spits at her.

"Ah." Lena said holding up a finger, "If you are going to call me ass, bad better come before it."

I could hear a grunt before seeing Mike helps James up as they walk off. I hear footsteps approach me as Lena hauls me to my feet.

"As I said before, pathetic." She mumbled brushing off my backpack, "You should really learn to fight back."

"Sorry." I mumble.

"Save your apologies. If you tell anyone about me helping you that's when you'll be sorry."

"Why'd you do it?"

"Pardon?"

"Why did you help me? I thought you hated me."

"I do hate you. I just really wanted an excuse to slap Mike. Idiot tried to sleep with Andrea."

"R-right." I mumble looking down.

I hear Lena inhale as if she was ready to say something. Maybe even ask something. Nothing comes. She turns on her heals and walks away.

I slowly make my way out to Eliza's car. We sit in silence for awhile. She doesn't ask about the slight limp I had or me holding my stomach.