Salad&Hennesy

August 13

Me:Hey uncle what's up we still going out tonight!!!

Uncle: Man thought about it and the kids and I are going to watch scary movies for the night.

Me: oh it's all good my friend Rick just called and asked if I wanted to hang out with him tonight.
A LIE!!! I told my uncle a lie.. for what? Well it's the need to make yourself feel like you have something to look forward to so you can distract yourself from the truth. That ends up not working for the whole night. I sit back get on the game and play call of duty,but I actually do have a friend down the street let's give him a call and see if he wants to actually get drinks tonight. * Phone rings* I sit in complete silence staring at my tv screen while I get shot on call of duty... Hello? Bro? Voicemail.... Ugh whatever he will call back.. hours goes bye still no call back.. We'll I need gas anyway it's 9:30pm I'll just get some gas and drive downtown.. this is another distraction tactic that I tried and it seem to just make things worst for me. I go get gas drive downtown playing some Chris Brown "lost&Found" driving past all these friends and cute couples well some the last couple I laid eyes on while driving by the guy for one let his girlfriend cross the street on the wrong side of the road and his face just didn't look like he didn't want to be outside. As I get closer to my house *PHONE RINGS*
Hell yeah I rush to look.. not Rick, not my uncle calling to switch his mind, and not the homie from down the street that wouldn't let me down... it's my sister my DAMN sister. Well this is great I can't go out and have fun with my little sister she a freshman in high school what the hell does she wants. CLICK I put my phone on silent and continue to drive home. Parked my car and *PHONE Vibrate* I take a glance Little sis with hearts ok forget it..

Me: hey what's up sis

Sister: hey I just called because I have nobody to talk to my friends are pissing me off

Me:Damn well not gone lie I'm alittle busy rn some friends and I are about to go into a club ima have to give you a call back love you.

A LIE!!!
Wow what's goin on with me as I open the door complete darkness no one behind or in front of me no drunk feels no joy no nothing.. complete emptiness I feel empty I feel like shit I feel like a body that's just walking.. I open the fridge and saw some salad.. yeah I say to myself I need to eat alittle healthy anyways but what's going to cope with this feeling I have going on.. I open the freezer some Hennessy I had since last night but didn't not open because I fell asleep early.. why not? Well one good reason Hennessy and salad aren't really meant to go together but who cares  I'm just trying to get through the night. As I sit here eating and sipping on this Hennessy I ask myself why did I even get on here to write a story of what I'm doing? I really don't know I guess this is something to distract me from my loneliness something I can't lie to this is a place I can completely share my whole night to and not LIE about it..