Secret (13th Doctor x River Song)

Going Mad

Sitting in the corner of the cell, the Doctor found herself completely distracted and daydreaming, thinking up a clever way out of this situation safely for both her and River. There needed to be some sort of way to help Madame Kovarian find some sense. It was taking everything in her to not go off rambling all her her thoughts aloud, as she was used to. Though it was a bit easier, watching River do what she knew best, charming the guard outside of their fairly sized cell.

River trailed off once she turned to look back at the Doctor, locking eyes, and after a few moments eventually River screamed out in pain. She began to thrash, trying to contain her head in her hands.

"What's wrong?" The Doctor rushed over to River's side and placed her hand on her back. The Doctor had to remind herself that she couldn't take out her sonic screwdriver and get a quick diagnosis and be able to fix the problem. So all she could do was stay there with her and hope that this will pass.

"Ah! I don't know!" River was all sorts of hunched over but she tried her best to twist back up to look at the Doctor, who stood over her, once more. "Who are you?"

"I'm not sure what you mean." The Doctor began to panic as this was not a very good sign. Her head began to turn side to side as if she were looking for someone behind her that River might be referring to. She pulled her best act in order to keep River away from the truth, it seemed tedious but she held her wife over any other.

River kept her thoughts private, but she knew that what she was experiencing was because of what she was thinking. She had an idea. "I–" She was still in pain. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Uh, what is it?" This seemed very worrisome to the Doctor.

River did her best to stand up straight so she could be taken seriously. "I need you to knock me out, it's the only way."

"What?!" The Doctor yelled, realizing the guard could hear her and had turned to face their direction."What?" She corrected herself in a quieter tone, looking back at River. The guard went back to his own business.

"Come on! You can do it, you don't seem like a baby to me. If you don't do this, the pain won't stop." River continued to wince and contain her head.

The Doctor threw her hands up. "Fine!" She grabbed their food tray from earlier and swung as hard as she could, surprisingly knocking out River easier than expected.

Before she knew it she realized something as she stood over River's unconscious body, the Doctor, she was falling for her, really falling. Not falling in the sense of mixing up the meaning of care and love, because the Doctor knew she cared for River. No, there was something more, something new, like a rock in her throat. Something that could only be defined by love. How could she do this? How could she let herself be hurt all over again? Hadn't she already had enough pain? Maybe it was worth it, worth this feeling. She knew she wouldn't feel that way in the future looking back on it but right now she was okay, and the woman in this cell with her was the reason why.

A few hours passed and no word from Madame Kovarian. River began to groggily wake up, holding her head more calmly this time. She gasped. "Ugh! There's a bump!" River turned to the Doctor with a glare that could kill.

"You asked me to!" The Doctor raised her hands in surrender.

"I hate you." River clicked her tongue and shook her head in what seemed to almost be in a forgiving manner.

"No you don't." It was an instinct that the Doctor couldn't control, almost like replying "I love you too". The Doctor convulsed these thoughts from her head, she couldn't have it, even if they were true.

River chuckled as she flinched in pain once more, rubbing the bump on her head. She gave the Doctor a long stare as thoughts raced through her head. It was a similar feeling to what she experienced with her writhing headache, except this time there was no agonizing pain. It's like the pain was somehow knocked out of her, but her memory wasn't doing so great at that moment either. She kept her hand on her head, almost as if she could push the bump back in if she were to keep it there long enough.

Before they knew it both River and the Doctor jumped out of their stare they had gotten lost in from a banging on their cell. After turning to face where the noise was coming from they realized it was one of the guards knocking heavily on the bars.

He opened the cell. "Come on, lovebirds. Madame Kovarian wants to speak to you."

The Doctor laughed awkwardly trying to pretend the guard's joke was funny and not immediately going to her head.

"She probably wants to finally negotiate our way out of this rubbish hole." River barked at the guard. She obviously was fed up with Kovarian's mad nonsense.

"It's not likely." The guard wasn't having it either. He cuffed them both and dragged them along back to the room they were in earlier with the same faces of the Doctor on the screens. After they were pushed back down in their chairs, Madame Kovarian popped up from behind her desk looking even more crazed than before.

"Why can't I find him? He's nowhere! Nowhere! I've searched in every place I know he could be and he's nowhere to be found. Why!?" She had made her way over to River in a very cartoonish, unbalanced manner. It was obvious at this point, she was genuinely losing it.

"As usual, I have no clue where he is. I'm actually looking for him myself so do me a favor and keep me in the loop." River was looking for the Doctor? But she was aware that Darillium was supposed to be their last time together, so why would she be looking for her? It seemed like the exact kind of puzzle that the Doctor was very keen to solve but there was no time for that. She needed to keep finding ideas for a way out of the mess they were in.

"I've been studying these charts of the whereabouts of the Doctor and they state he's been traveling with a female companion but we haven't been able to find her anywhere either!" Madame Kovarian pulled out some sheets of paper that sprawled everywhere, which seemed to have been pulled from nowhere. "This. Is so. Frustrating!" Her words were broken up like whatever it was she was feeling was somehow taking over her body. She broke out into an intense laughter as she grabbed her head to pull her hair. This couldn't be Kovarian, this had to be someone, something else but then again maybe it was.

Something was wrong.