I Rather Choose Death

The Guilt Trip

Carter POV~
30 Minutes later
Jason: *walking in the waiting room* Carter ?

Carter: *standing up* What happened ?!

Jason: I'm so sorry

Carter: No.....No *sitting down* No *breaking down crying* I'm sorry Layla ! I'm so sorry.

Jason: Carter *comforting him* The baby didn't-

Carter: Baby ? She was...

Jason: *Nodding* I'm sorry man

Carter: Oh my god *crying harder*

Jason: *comforting him* I'm here man, I'm here.
You gone get through this. *looking ahead with so much on his mind* I'ma help you through this.

After about 30 mins of crying, I sat there staring at the walls. Thinking how, how could I have been so stupid. The one person who actually care and love me is gone. The mother of my child is gone. My partner, my soulmate gone. All because of me, god should have took me instead. Why leave me, and take them?.....I guess that's what I get, I deserved this. I really wish I could take it all back. I stood up and as I was about to leave until the nurse stopped me and asked me if I was interested in organ donation and if she was a donor. I looked at this bitch and just walked away. Pissed, lost and hurt. I push the double doors with force that brought attention. I stopped and tried to catch my breath, trying not to cry it was hard to control anything.

Big Lo: Yo boss ? You good? *touching him to check on him*

Carter: GET OFF ME ! *moving from him* just get......*tears in his eyes* just go home please. *walking off*

Big Lo: Boss ? *catching up to him and stopping him* Come on man, let us take you home. you can drink there and do whatever you please but just go home, Okay?

Carter: *looking at him with eyes full of tears* ok.

I wiped my face, fixed myself and headed back to the car. We headed to the house and I got out and went straight for the bar. I turned up the first bottle I touched. Memories just kept popping up over and over. For each memory I tipped up the bottle. A tear slipped down my face. I wiped it and turned up the bottle again.

Leah POV~
I rushed in the hospital with Hazel by my side. We went straight up to the front desk and asked for Layla. Jason came from the back and we ran up to him and he looked at us.

Leah: Jason please tell me she made it

Jason: *looking at them with hurt* I'm sorry

Hazel: No

Leah: You lying *getting mad*

Hazel: Please no *sitting down crying*

Leah: Jason where is she ? *tears forming in her eyes* I want to see her.

Hazel: Leah she's gone *touching her* she left us

Leah: Get the fuck off me *snatching away with tears falling down her face* I want to see her now.

Jason: Okay, come on *looking at them with guilt*

Leah: Hazel lets go

We headed back there to where her body was laying. She looked like she was sleeping, she was beautiful. I looked at Jason and he looked like he was so hurt. She really left us, she really took her own life while on the phone with me..... I felt so helpless.. I should've got t her quicker.