Blood and Sweaters

Chapter 9

Atelophobia
The fear of never being good enough.

"Ransom, " Aria breathed, finally after weeks of having constant throbbing pain in her chest, did she find relief.

Solace. Solace is what she felt as she stared into his ocean blue eyes. He took a step forward, encircling her in his arms.

"God! I've missed you, " he admitted.

"I've missed you too."

Ransom smiled at the girl in his arms.

"But you were stupid for coming back, " Aria confessed stepping out of his embrace.

Ransom's smile was replaced with a grimace. This was not the way he planned it in his head. Then again this was Aria, she was unpredictable, never followed anyone's plans but her own.

"This is who I am. And this is what I do." she pointed to the body in the chair.

He took a step towards her but she stopped him.

"I refuse to apologize for the monster I am. No one apologized for making me this way. No one apologized to the little girl who watched her entire life get butchered in front of her eyes. No apologized for the lost childhood. No one apologized for making me a murderer at 7 years old. No one apologized for the nights I spent bawling, wishing I could turn back time. No one apologized for robbing me of normal family life. So why should I apologize for the person I am today?"

"Dew-"

"No! You don't want to be with me, Ransom. Because somewhere along the line you'll want to fix me and I don't want that. I'm a mess with a heartbeat. That's who I am and I like it. My scars tell my story and I'm proud of it because it shows just how far I've come. Every scar tells a story. From a little girl learning to embrace the darkness cause there was no more mummy or daddy to tuck her in to the cold-blooded assassin who lied and killed, tortured and broke, every mark she ever had."

The tears now flowed freely down the girl's face. It broke Ransom's heart to see her this way.

"I can't have the man I love, look at me with fear in his eyes. We can either love someone or fear them. We can never do both, " she declared in a broken voice.

That was it! He couldn't take it anymore. He pulled her into his arms, holding on to her tightly as if to mend together all the broken parts of her soul.

"I love you dewdrop. I've loved you since the first day I saw you in the shithole jail cell. I love you the way you are. No changes are required. Ever." he promised.

"Now stop crying, devil child. We have a body to deliver, " he smirked at the girl who mirrored his expression.

~~~

After driving the jeep back to the deserted car park, they placed Fabio's corpse on the driver seat with the syringe in the lap. Satisfied with the scene, they left for home.

After dinner, the two sat at the table in silence. There was so much information to take it. But they needed to start somewhere.

"So what do you think about your baby brother or sister?"

Ransom grimaced at her choice of words. If anyone else had asked that question he would have replied with some very colorful language.