Perranth With You

13

The shaking wouldn't stop.

I couldn't feel my hands or my feet. Everywhere he touched was numb.

Those hands -compared to the ones that touched me before- I think are the only ones that could meet mine. That could meet my skin. Without me shivering in disgust. Or swallowing back bile.

But these hands; the ones that sicken me... there they are. Right in front of me. And I can't. Move.

I've always thought about what I would do differently if I ever saw him again. And they all included violence on my part or Lorcan's. Or Manon's.

But now that he's here, and that wave of wind was gone, my body has shut down and my mind is running wild. Too many thoughts. Too many questions.

Why did you hurt me?

How could you hurt me?

Did you even care for me?

Did you feel anything when you saw me in those damn shackles-

"Elide."

I paused in my crouched position in the corner of the cold room.

That voice. Where...

I look around the room that I swore I'd never see again -at least only in my dreams- and find no person whose voice it would belong to.

He was gone.

"Elide. You are in your head. You must keep it steady."

Keep it steady.

The voice echoed through the room... no in my mind.

Yrene.

She is on the outside. She is helping you. She's pregnant, don't make it harder for her. She can heal your foot.

She can heal you.

There is nothing to fix, Elide.

Who says? What do they know? Nobody knows what goes on in my head, they don't understand!

A light breeze wafts through this dimly lit room.

Lorcan.

Of course it's him. It's always been him.

A deep breath. Just stop thinking. Just in Stop out.

Keep it steady.

I breath deeply as I finally take in my surroundings. My back aches and my knees twinge as I stand up, bracing myself against the wall.

This room, if you could even call it that, was where I lived and breathed for years. From when we lost Aelin to when we gained her. Well, when I gained her.

Manon was in here once. She stood right where I am.

No windows, no curtains, no carpet or furniture. No plants or memories worth remembering. Except for when I escaped. I don't think I could ever pay Manon back for that. Or the Thirteen.

I go to take a stop forwards... but freeze when I hear the sound of clanging metal.

No.

I look down with teary eyes, my body starts shaking again and-

"NO!"

I shake my leg out in front of me attempting to rid of the shackles dragging on the floor, dangling from my deformed ankle.

"PLEASE NO!"

"I can't..." I'm sobbing now, my breathing is laboured and I can't see through my blurry eyes.