I Wasn't Enough ✓

I Wasn't Enough | Chapter 1

"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more painful than anything that bleeds."
Laurel K. Hamilton

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The coffee mug in her hands is hot from the cocoa that she has on, and constantly needs to adjust her grip on the mug itself to not harm herself on it. Lilliana's eyes stare out into the world through the window of her apartment. All that she sees are the streets down below. Filled with people living their lives while she stays there. She doesn't care. It isn't a nice day either way. It's raining, and she would rather not catch a cold.

A sigh leaves her lips. The beverage in her mug is far too hot for her to drink now, as she just poured the steaming hot water into the mug to mix with the cocoa. Walking towards the kitchen table, she sits down and looks over the scattered papers that she has on there. They might appear to be chaotic and out of place, but Lilliana has everything organized and every paper is in its rightful place. At least it will help her do understand it all and go through them. All of these papers are from files that she has to go over for her job.

Lilliana is a secretary for a woman that is her idol. Mrs. Dile is a woman that any girl dreams to be. Fought against the sexist world of men and landed a job as a CEO, and she did not do so easily. Every day she had to fight for her right to be there, and she showed them that women can do anything that a man can do. She is now higher than any of the men that underestimated her. Mrs. Dile is also the dream boss, despite her harsh nature, and Lilliana feels inspired every day that she works for her.

And the woman had given her the day off this day. Given that, Lilliana has not taken a day off in the five years that she has been working for the company. Never taken a sick day and even worked on the Holiday's. So, Mrs. Dile practically forced her to stay at home, and there are security guards that will not allow her into the building if Lilliana were to attempt it. However, Lilliana was one step ahead of her boss and took some files with her home.

Now, the woman sits by her table and looks over the papers of those files. All of them organized in her style so that only she can understand, and she has cocoa with her, as she refuses to drink anything with caffeine in it. The interest in her eyes as she reads over the files. It's everything that she has ever wanted and worthy the ache in her back and her thighs from sitting by the table for so long. Lilliana enjoys the paperwork that she has to do for her boss, she loves her job.

During the five years that she has worked there, she has learned and grown so much. It also is the best remedy that she can ever think of to take her mind of things that try to sneak up on her. Doing her work, Lilliana is focused, and she has her head cleared along with her thoughts. The papers might not mean much to other people, but to her, it means everything, and she is good at what she does. Lilliana puts everything into her work, and she does so at the expense of her own mental health that no one sees to notice.

The morning goes by quickly, and before she knows it, noon has come. The mug has been long emptied and put aside. She stretches her body and then stands up from the chair. Walking to her kitchen, Lilliana opens her fridge to find something to eat. Closes it right away when she finds nothing that she wants. Mostly everything that is in her fridge, are the things that she has for dinner and leftovers as well. She's not feeling like dinner kind of food now, she wants something fresh and something lunch like. Besides, it's her day off. Kinda.

Changing out of her clothes as she wore nothing but her comfort clothes, hoodie and sweatpants which she has worn a couple of evenings in a row and are quite dirty. Dressing herself into black jeans and white sweater and then her jacket as it's raining, she takes her car keys, her home keys and her phone and goes out of her apartment but not before she locks the door. As much as she didn't want to go outside this day, the hunger inside her is begging her for food, and she's craving something better than dinner food.