Updates

Ace of Spades

As you've all noticed, I took Ace of Spades off my profile. Most of the questions are why and will it ever come back?

Why?

I was getting hate and death threats for the nicknames Misumi & Eddie used for each other.

But why?

People found them racially insensitive and though I apologised and took the story down, some people weren't satisfied. It's why I left Wattpad and stopped writing here.

Will you post it back on Wattpad?

No.

But the comments-

I understand that the comments are a huge reason to read the stories and it really makes the stories more enjoyable. I've been on Wattpad since I was 13, I'm 24 now, trust me, I know that the comments are fun.

But Ace of Spades is one of my most popular stories and when I went to Wattpad, reporting the people that told me it would be better if I killed myself, Wattpad never addressed the comments. They never did anything. Never responded, never acknowledged the seriously messed up messages I got.

So, if they didn't care, why should I let them profit off that story?

Y'all don't understand how scary it was to feel like maybe those people were right and that I should just end my life over a story I didn't even like. I used to cry myself to sleep and lost all my passion for writing. Writing was what saved me from suicide so many times and some jerks on the internet turned it into a nightmare.

I'm not asking for pity or anything. I'm simply giving y'all answers.

Wattpad never addressed the constant harassment I was getting, so that story will never be published here again.

I would really like to read it, though!

It's on Inkitt. Inkitt doesn't have ads and y'all can just binge-read the story.

Did you change anything about it?

The story is the exact same. The only thing that changes is that Misumi & Eddie don't address each other by the nicknames anymore.

Why did you post it on Inkitt?

Because so many of you guys were messaging me, asking me to please re-post it. I really struggled with that for a long time but decided that I should just do it. I know how nice it is to find something that brings you comfort and how painful it is to lose it.

That is the only reason I have re-posted it. I cannot emphasise my hatred for that book enough, but it is what it is.

Why do you hate it?

I don't like the writing style. It is such an obvious representation of how young and silly I was and it just...it needs so much work. Yes the characters are fun and there are some cool scenes, and you could argue in favour of them but y'all will never change my mind.

The story needs help. I needed help when writing it (mental & editing-wise lmao) and if I could go back in time, I probably would do so many different things.

Have you considered publishing it?

Hell no. A million times no.

Inkitt actually sent me an email about posting it on Galatea a few days ago and while I was flattered for the offer, I wouldn't do it. Not with the way it is and how much I hate it, lmao.

Can we convince you otherwise?

Nope.

I hate that story so much that I considered opening another Wattpad account with a different name and writing there because I didn't want to be the Ace of Spades writer anymore. I've grown to accept it though, my writing now reflects my growth as a person and as a writer, so I won't leave this profile.

Why are you starting so many stories and not finishing them?

To be honest y'all, I lose interest in stories when all the comments are about AoS. It's like a trigger lmao. I'm trying to do better but it's kind of hard when that's all people want of me.

I'm so grateful that people bother to read my stories and enjoy them but I feel I've written better things and it's just not...received as well? Not complaining about that! It just makes me feel kinda like "people will only read what I write if the male lead is an asshole and puts the female lead through hell" -- which I'm not judging 'cause it's such a good trope, but I find that writing about loving male leads makes me happier.

Writing about a healthy relationship and all the things I actually want make me happy. Don't get me wrong! I LOVE writing asshole main characters but I like the guy that's an asshole to everyone except the female lead, lmao or if they're "assholes" it's actually the playful teasing? That gets under the girl's skin but it's never to the point that it's toxic?

I don't know if I'm explaining myself right but whenever I'm depressed or feeling down, I read Au Pair because Luca is such a supportive character to Dani. It's a subtle reminder that I will get that someday, someone that has a bomb dick and respects my boundaries, communicates and gets me.

If y'all couldn't tell, I leave all my traumas in writing lmaoooo. Daddy issues for the win, right?

Anyway, I think that answers all about Ace of Spades.

Let me know if y'all have any more questions about it.

I've attached an external link that leads you to my Inkitt profile so that you can read Ace of Spades there :) I'll also post it in the comments just in case the link doesn't work.