love notes

FRUSTRATED AWAKENING

  Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Argh I place my pillow over my head. I hate those monitors they're so noisy. I'll never get any sleep. Suddenly the pillow is pulled off my face and the bright light above me shines down. Staring at me is my nurse. "You weren't trying to suffocate yourself were you?" I groan and she pushes her glasses up on her nose. "No okay! Gah these blasted lights!"

She clicks the lights off and turns and walks out the door. I should've asked her to do that before. Stupid Ryan.

  Tomorrow I'm going to the mental hospital, instead of this normal one. I guess it's only right since I did try to do that ... thing with a rope. Kill myself I mean. Here's what happened.

*flashback*
It was a usual summer day. I always avoid my parents who were drunk and high all the time, but this time I accidentally left my phone in my room. My precious baby phone with my music on it. #mental tears# yes I know I sound like a girl being so worried about my phone but that phone has my whole existence on it. I walk into my living room, but standing there was my dad. Holy shizznets. He sucked on a brown beer bottle greedily then turned and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Where have you been?!" He yells at me. I shrug. "Around." The big gorilla looking man walks up to me getting all in my face. We look into each other's eyes. since I had my growth spurt I've finally gotten almost taller than him. He start yelling again and spitting all over my face. "I am you father you worthless piece of crap so you will answer me and listen to me!"  I wipe the spit and turn to go around him but I'm knocked back and onto the floor. He stands above me with an evil crazy glint in his ugly brown eyes.

That's when it gets worse. My dad starts to stomp my stomach. Blood shoots up my throat and I try to scramble away but he pulls me back. I hold back tears not wanting to seem weak. I regain my balance and punch the crap out of his face. He yells dropping the bottle, glass goes everywhere. He glares at me. "Go to your room and die you worthless kid!" I run.

Up the stairs and to my room and I fling open my door to find my room a disaster. What the hell? I go to the last spot my phone was and its... broken along with all my merchandise from my favorite band black veil brides. I fall to my knees , tears streaming down my face. I've never cried. No matter how many times I've been beaten. But this was it. My life was over. I rushed to my bag and pulled out a paper and pen.

Note:
Dear people,
I'm sorry wait no I'm not sorry. I hate you all except my brother kylum. I love you bro even tho I've got jealous over how every likes you more than me. Well I have no life and can't take anymore of this. I'll miss you Black Veil Brides. Bye world. - Ryan

Then I hooked up the rope and tried to die.

*reality*

I should go to sleep big day Tomorrow. night. I fall asleep a light snore coming from my lips.

How was it beautiful?