Out of Time

chapter 12 - silence

TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACKS/INVASIVE THOUGHTS

I feel like crying. After threatening my ex-best friend, I now need his help to get back to my room. I stay outside his door for a while, hoping that someone would come walking down this hallway.

Lucky for me, no one did.

So, I knock on his door.

"Go away," I hear Callum shout.

"I want to, I don't know how." He roughly opens his door. We both stand in suffocating silence.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know the way to my room," I grumble.

This guy dared to laugh at my horrendous situation.

The audacity...

"Well, get someone you didn't just threaten to kill to help you." He slams the door in my face.

"That's the point, you imbecile. There is not a single soul in this damn hallway," I complain through the door. I can almost hear his eyes rolling.

"I'll call someone." I hear him mumble to someone, probably on the phone.

"Thank you," I say sincerely.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you." Sarcasm coats his teasing words.

"You know what? I take it back."

We continue to poke fun, mimick and ridicule each other until a lone figure walks up to me. Oh, it's Harvey.

"Hey, Harvey! Are you here to save me?" I cheer.

"Yep, Callum called me." The door that he most rudely slammed closed reopens.

"You have to be kidding me. I call for the most annoying and judgemental idiot I know, and you are friends with him!" I could practically see steam coming out of Callum's ears.

I tut. "What a pity." I lace my words and face with fake sympathy. "Ciao!" I link my arms and walk down the hallway.

"We're going the wrong way," Harvey whispers. I chuckle before letting him steer us back in the right direction. I stick the middle finger up at Callum on the way back.

We walk for a while. Harvey asks me about my relation to Callum, and I give some vague answers. He pressures me into telling him. And I refused. He knows I won't budge, so he changes the topic to himself.

"I play basketball. I like to..." and Harvey blabbers on for another 5 minutes about...

Gosh, I don't even know. I honestly wasn't listening. I was just trying to stand upright and not fall over. My vision has gone black a couple of times, and my hands were shaking. Harvey being himself, didn't notice these problems.

Thankfully, we reach my door. I mutter a quick thanks before I charge through the door. Time flies past me, and my eyes play tricks on me, with swirling and hallucinations. My body, motionless, dead, still - or whatever - collapsed on the bed. My hair splayed around my pale face like a sea of blackness suffocating my mouth. A gun laid emptied in my hand.

I take a second to even out my breathing to no avail.

I slowly climb into the shower. My head aches and my thoughts feel as if they are scattered across the floor. I hate being stuck in my head. Someone once explained to me that it felt like a spiral.

You should have just shut up and not said anything.

At first, you think nothing of it; the spiral is large and loose. But, when you start to think more about it, the tighter it becomes, until it's around your neck, strangling every emotion out of you.