spiderling ; reader imagines

Cuddle || P.P.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Warnings: angst with fluff ending, mostly centred around may and peter, mentions of tony's death, trauma, fuck mysterio, nightmare, mentions of sex

~

"If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive"

Peter's eyes shot open as he sat up abruptly, breaking out cold sweat as he supported himself on his elbows. He breathed heavily, panting and silently crying as he frantically flailed his hands around the bed, hoping to grab a hold of something.

Anything.

His chest tightened as he bit back a sob, a broken cry escaping his lips which he immediately silenced with a hand on his mouth.

He didn't want May to hear him. He could tell she was awake from the shuffling sounds in the kitchen.

His hands were shaking, holding onto the pillow and pulling it close to his trembling body. He buried his face in the pillow, biting down on the cover to muffle his cries as tears slipped down his cheeks. His throat burning as he coughed, wiping his face on the pillow.

"If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive"

Fuck.

His hadn't had a nightmare in months and now—this.

He sniffled, pulling the collar of his white shirt away, it was sweaty, clinging to his body like a second skin, making it hard for him to breath.

Maybe Mysterio was right.

Peter hated him, of course, he hated him. But he was right, wasn't he? If only peter was good enough, Tony would still be alive. Ben would still be alive.

He sniffled again, a choked sob escaping his lips as he wiped his running nose, rubbing his wet cheeks. He reached for his phone on the bedside table. He needed someone. He needed you—

He has fucked up so many times. So many fucking times. And May keeps putting up with him. He was a burden to may, to you, to ned, to pepper and happy. He didn't know how he was still breathing knowing how he had hurt his own family and friends.

He tapped on your contact, his trembling hands trying to dial your number and he sobbed softly, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

He pushed his hair back, gripping it as his phone switched off on its own—

It fucking died.

Fuck.

He scrambled off the bed, almost dropping on the floor. He gripped his desk, frantically rummaging through his messy drawer, looking for his charger. His trembling hands tried to plug in the charger in his phone but he just—

He just couldn't and he—

He threw his phone across the room as a broken sob escaped his lips, he flinched when his phone crashed into his lego death star.

"Fucking hell." He wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. Rushing to kneel down on the floor where the pieces of his lego set laid scattered. "No, no, no, no. Shit."

"Peter?" Peter froze at May's voice, his stomach churning as he dropped his hands on the ground, sitting back with his back against the wall. "Peter, is everything okay?"

He tried his best to bite back a sob but May's soothing voice was enough to snap the tiny thread of strength he had that was holding him together. He let out a broken cry, trying to muffle it by burying his face his hands but have up the second the door was pushed open.