spiderling ; reader imagines

I love you, but... || P.P.

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warnings: angst

~

"It'll be okay!" you encouraged, rubbing up and down his arm with a reassuring smile.

It was hard to tell when it started, but you knew it was a cold, autumn evening when you realized.

He shrugged, a nervous smile on his lips. "Yeah, it will be. It's only a test worth 40% of my grade, no big deal"

"You're going to knock it out of the park" you beam, pressing a quick kiss on his unsuspecting lips.

It was the way he recoiled.

Albeit the kiss lasted no longer than a second, there was no denying his movements as you pressed your soft lips against his. It was as though the air around you suddenly got colder, the fire in your chest that was keeping you warm seeming to flicker. And at that moment you faltered, hesitating, as a profound sense of dread settled in your body.

But you made the mistake of pulling away anyway. You shivered as you felt the change.

"It'll be okay" you reassured him again, ignoring the new weight settled tightly over your heart. "I'll see you in an hour"

And as you walked away, you wondered why you felt such a sense of longing, an unfamiliar yearning and hoping for things to go back to the way they were before when nothing has yet changed. If only you'd realize that it was only the beginning.

"Peter" you whispered, hand placed delicately on his bicep.

His eyes remained closed, breathing even. Glancing over at your shared bedside table, you frowned at the neon green numbers.

You laid back down with a heavy sigh, hand coming up to your face, exhaustion rattling your bones. You couldn't suppress the shiver that snaked up your spine, not unaware of the missing weight of Peter's arm that used to wrap around you and keep you warm during nights like this.

Sitting up against the headboard, you tucked your knees to your chest. Eyes flickering to the nightstand again, you let your eyes wander this time, settling on Peter's phone, face down as it charges peacefully.

Biting your lip, you don't try to ignore the nagging thought at the back of your head.

I shouldn't, you tell yourself. That's an invasion of privacy.

You begin to pick at your nails, angel and devil on your shoulder as thoughts bounce back and forth. Brows furrowing, you stop your movement, determination on your face.

I'll just take a quick peek.

Reaching over Peter's body, you hastily unplug his phone before settling back down in your previous position.

His bright screen illuminates your face as your heart hammers in your chest. You note the several text message notifications on the lock screen and though the content and names are hidden, the time stamp is clear as day as it states the messages came in only one hour ago. With shaky fingers, you type in his password.

Zero, two, one, four.

Our anniversary.

When the screen shakes, the error message shining at the top, your heart drops. You let out a sharp breath and for some odd reason knowing that he's changed his password seems to be a lot more painful than the mysterious messages.

You plug Peter's phone back in.

Turning your back to him, you close your eyes until daylight breaks, pretending as though nothing happened.

"Peter" you call out his name with a frown, hurt etched deeply in your chest. Blinking away your tears, you clench your fist as you ask, "Why are you being like this?"

At a loss for words, Peter can provide no explanation for his own callous behaviour. He sucks in a deep breath as he shuffles back and forth on his feet, "I don't kno," he admits.

Anger courses through your veins and you wish so desperately to cease the burning in your eyes. "I've never treated you like this" you bite.

Ashamed, Peter's gaze is down casted. "I know"

"So, why, Peter?" you yell, "Why are you treating me like this? After everything I've done for you? I would never, ever do this to you!"

Exasperated, Peter yells, "I know that! You don't think I know that? God" his hands fly to his head, gripping the ends of his hair with a clenched jaw, "You don't know how badly I wish I could take it back"