Your forever is all that I need ~ kellic

6 ~ shit yourself

September 18th

It's a new day but it all feels old, it's a good life that's what I'm told

That damn song has been stuck in my head all fucking morning.

But everything it all just feels the same

It is a good song though, I just haven't listened to it in years.

"At my highschool it felt more to me like a jail cell a penitentiary..." I sang under my breath. Kinda praying that no one could hear me.

"Dude, what the fuck are you even singing?" Asked Mike. I've been sitting with him and his friends since Mike established that I don't have any friends of my own. I'll save you the details, but he saw me sitting alone and invited me to sit with him.

I looked at everyone's faces, none of them knew the song. Shame on them. "It's the anthem.. By good Charlotte", I told them, causing their faces to become even more confused.

"Never heard of them" commented Ben. I was sat across from Ben, his full name was Ben Bruce. He's a really cool kid! He's like one of those badass, Rebel, thug life kids but he's a nice guy. Actually.. Everyone at the table was like that.

Across from me was Mike Fuentes , Tony Perry and Nick Mathews. Next to me was Rian Dawson and Ben Bruce.

"Or maybe Ben, you're just not cool enough to know who good Charlotte are." Rian added as he grinned and leant forwards so his elbows were resting on the table. He seamed oddly proud of his crappy attempt of saying something sassy.

Ben looked at him, his facial expressions proving that he was kinda surprised at what Rian just said. He began to speak, "just like that time when you weren't cool enough to use a toilet and shit yourself?" Damn.

A sense of annoyance grew on Rians face and he glared at Ben. "ok. That was one fucking time and it only happened because you thought it'd be funny to put fucking ex-lax in my drink when we were in the middle of fucking nowhere!" Someone clearly holds a grudge.

"And it was very funny." Commented Mike once Rian was finally done with his rant. Rian didn't look amused.

"Besides," said Ben "we only ever prank the new guy in the group, you're not the new guy anymore." He turned his face to look at me and I felt like his eyes were burning into my soul. My soul of pranks. Which I just invented. Ok.

"Awww no, don't pick on pretty boy" said Nick, glancing at me.

What.

Ok I have to reply to that. Um what the fuck can I say. Also what the fuck did he just say. No one says that, no.

"I mean what---" Nick added once he noticed that I didn't reply. Making me feel really bad. Like he just complimented me.. I think.. And I just sat here like a fucking asshole and said nothing, this is why people don't like me. Well, it's one of the many reasons that people don't like me.

"Don't be such a creep" Mike snapped at him. "Kellin's our friend, not just another thing for us all to fuck." Thanks.

"What have we got next?" Tony asked

"P.e." Said Nick " and I'm not skipping it today guys, I had a huge fucking pizza last night that I need to work off."

They all looked around at each other, doing something that I assume to be unspoken friend communication. It was kinda funny to watch, especially seen as though I had no idea what the fuck they were "eye-contacting" about. Probably P.E seen as though that's what they were just talking about. I haven't actually spoke to them yet today, I probably should but I can't. I'd probably end up saying something stupidly retarded and they'd never speak to me again. But I also don't wanna end up being know as the quiet kid because that's a reputation that is fucking hard to get out of.

"So.. What's the P.E teacher like?" I spoke. Oh my fucking god I sounded like such a nerd. Who asks what teachers are like? Me apparently.

"Stupid." Replied Ben, surprisingly not judging me. "He's lazy as shit so he usually just gets a dumbass football player to take the lesson, which sucks because they all fucking hate our guts. Well, except vic but only because he's mikes brother."

Oh.

-

Ben was completely right about the P.E teacher, he made two football players in the year above teach the lesson. They were completely annoying fags called Jack and Alex.
So I ended up sitting away from whatever the fuck they were doing and playing old school video games with Nick, great way to work off that pizza. The others didn't bother coming to P.E which is kinda confusing because that's what I thought they were making eye contact about.

"Holy shit you're good at this." Nick laughed and smiled at me.

"Better than you." I cheekily smiled back as I bet him at another game of worms, 3 in a god damn row. Suck it bitch.

He raised his eyebrow when I said that. I probably shouldn't have.. Oops?

After another two games and another two times of me beating him, he put his game on the ground, took mine from me and put it next to his. "I'm bored." He spoke as he looked into my eyes.

I didn't look back into his, that's just something I can't do. "Well go join in with P.E then" I told him

"Nah." He said, putting his hand onto my knee and moving it around playfully, "I'd rather stay here with you."

I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Kellin." Nick began, "I know we've only known each other for a couple days, but God damn you're cute and I wanna ask you this before anyone else does.. Will you be my boyfriend..?"

Uh.. I don't know. I've never really thought about having a boyfriend since Matty. I'm not sure that I want another boyfriend after what happened with Matty. No, I really can't. I'm not ready. I still haven't fully fucking recovered after what that asshole did. But how the fuck can I say no. Uh, I'll just have to say no.. I could tell him that I'll think about it and just never give him an answer. I could move to Finland and change my name to Jimmy green, I could run away. Nah. Those ways are stupid. I'll just tell him no, how hard can it be?

"Uh.. sure" I said. He smiled at me once again and rested his head on my shoulder.

God damn it Kellin.