Something Else

Chapter 7 - Feelings

It was a quarter to nine.
Lee pulled off the road at a quiet spot on the headland at Vaucluse overlooking the ocean. He switched off the engine and looked out over the glistening blue sea, feeling dead tired now the effects of the speed had worn off.
'I had to come here to think,' he finally said as he unwound the window.
Stacey glanced sideways at him, having already noticed he wasn't in the best of moods by the way he'd spoken to her over the phone earlier. 'What about?' she asked.
'Us,' he replied.
He leaned forwards, taking a cigarette from the packet on the dashboard, then rummaged amongst the bits and pieces left there for his matches.
Stacey watched him light the cigarette and figured by the darkness around his eyes and the stubble on his chin that he hadn't been home from the party yet.
'What do you know about last night?' he asked, gazing casually out to sea as he spoke.
She frowned. 'How do you mean?'

He let out a contemptuous laugh. 'How do I mean!' He turned then and glared at her. 'A bunch of your fuckin' friends beat the shit out of my best mate last night, that's what I mean!'

Stacey was taken aback and stared at him in disbelief, mouth open, not knowing what to say. ' ... Is he alright?'

'Oh yeah!' he answered sarcastically. 'He's fuckin' great! He was only unconscious for three bleedin' hours - what do you think? He's in hospital!'

Stacey sank back in her seat, having not heard a thing about it, and knew whatever she was likely to say while he was in this kind of mood would be wrong. She stared out of the window, closing her eyes for a moment, feeling sick inside.

'So how come you seem to know nothing about it, Miss Sandcastles, Coogee Beach?' he asked as if trying to taunt her.

'I didn't go out last night,' she replied to the window, not appreciating the way he was talking to her.

'No, and why was that, because you had a slight idea that you knew what they might be up to?'

'No!' She looked at him unhappily. 'Because I didn't want to ruin today with a hangover.'

'Well, that's too bad. Today's fucked!'

Stacey kept her mouth shut and looked down at her hands, wondering why on earth this had to go and happen.

Lee sat back against the door putting a foot up on the seat and took a long drag on his cigarette before flicking the ash out of the window. 'You know, this isn't going to work between you an' me. I never came to pick you up today cos I wanted to see you. I came because, for some reason, I didn't think it was fair just letting you down by not showing up. I felt you deserve better than that – like some kind of explanation.' He took a longer drag on his cigarette as he thought and blew the smoke out, pulling the sun visor down at the same time to shield his eyes from the glare. 'You know, after I left the hospital this morning, I dropped the others off and went for a drive. Fuck knows what they must be thinking, me pissing off on 'em like that, but I couldn't face 'em knowing what I'm doing behind their backs. The same as last night. It was shit! And all for what?'

Stacey glanced up to the sky, feeling his eyes on her and fixed her attention to two seagulls that flew together high above the sea, feeling numb.
'Anyway,' he then continued. 'I've come to the conclusion that what we're doing is pointless. We're better off quitting now before anything else happens - know what I mean? I don't want to end up hurting you.'
Hurt me? She thought, holding back the tears. That had to be an understatement. She couldn't possibly hurt any more if she tried!
He then glanced at her, and as if trying to justify his own decision, asked, 'What d'you think, do you agree that it's pointless?'
Stacey swallowed down the pain in her throat, unable to speak and just shrugged, not knowing what to say or think. It hurt too much. She looked down at her hands and began fiddling with her rings. What could she say to change his mind if he had already made it up? Nothing.
'So that's it then, is it?' she asked, knowing she had to say something.
He nodded. 'The way I'm feeling right now, yes.'