I figured it out I figured out how to get a step closer to happiness and it is to forgive and let go . Forgive everybody who had caused trouble or pain in your life. Forgive people who used you and let them go. Holding grudges is only hurting you. Holding grudges against that person is holding onto pain and all this time I wonder why I can't be a normal and all I'm doing is holding grudges which is pain. Life is too short to be mad or depressed. And if you don't understand that, you want to be this way but it's not too late to fix it. Nobody can fix your emotional state only you can. When your tired of speeding money on therapist and staying at an mental hospital where they make you color like a 5 year old all day. ( They make that place feel like jail ) You would understand where I'm coming from. Ive only discovered one step to get to happiness and it work damn good. I deserve to be happy and anyone who is angry or depressed do too. No matter the action that you have taken.