100 Ways to Annoy People
Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
Drum on every available surface.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
Surprise old friend's by visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
Insist on buying airplane tickets for friends to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that you didn't really save them any money.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for random times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Safety Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "Oh la la!"
Rouse your roommate/spouse from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
dont use any punctuation
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - Buried Treasure" in random spots on roadmaps.
Explain to everyone you meet of your Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
