Heartbeat

1 - Realisations

I woke up from sleep around 6:30am. I was a university student, studying Art. This was my second year in the University of Boscsten (Bosh-sten). My classes usually began at 9 but it was pushed to start at 8.

I got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, showered and had breakfast, and with that I was gone. I walked around the building for a bit as I had left earlier than expected. The thought of what happened with Xaun had been lingering in my mind for a while. I didn't know what I was gonna do if I saw him.

"Well I didn't do anything wrong" I thought to myself "it's not like I'm the one who was sleeping around and cheating?!" Even with all that thought, I couldn't help but feel guilty.
Did I not put in enough effort, did I not communicate enough? I paced around in a circle until I saw my other classmates entering class.

I took a deep breathe and entered the classroom. The stares I was receiving were strong and intimidating. I looked to the ground as if it would make me invisible. "How dumb can I be" I thought to myself. I wasn't sure if they knew about me and Xauns break up but I knew I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I just kept on looking down and took myself to my seat.

Minutes later after unpacking, my best friend came in. Walking straight at me.
I took a deep breathe and smiled at her as if nothing was wrong.

The night before I had already planned to act as if nothing had happened. "Always forgive people no matter what they do to you," mother always said "If you don't, it makes you seem negative and miserable, making no one want to stay with you"

Her words faded away as I heard a high pitched "HEYYYYYY!!"
I was a bit shocked at her approach to me as if she didn't just fuck my ex boyfriend yesterday.

"Hey Ellie!" I responded.

"Girl you will not believe the night I had yesterday"
"I know, trust me... I caught you" I answered in my head.

"OHH did you hear about the party tonight?!"
I raised an eyebrow,

"Aaliyah you have got to comee!!"

"Just like my man did for you?" I chuckled at this.

"Girl I don't know what your laughing at but you better come, it's gonna be epic. You can even bring Xaun if you want?"

I paused and looked up at her. "Is she being for real?"

"Nah I prefer to come alone, I don't want him being all protective and stuff, you know how he is" she looked at me and just nodded her head.
"Make sure to be ready at 8," she said whilst getting up "and make sure to look really sexy"

I smiled and nodded at her in response. With that she left and went to her class. I could hardly concentrate in class after Ellie had mentioned Xaun, and her acting like she did nothing wrong was honestly nearly believable to me. Walking home, I wondered what people get out of cheating. In movies and books I never understood it. I always thought the girl be loyal to the guy no matter what, but I've realised that is not the case. No matter how loyal you are to someone they'll always find a way to cheat and break your heart.

I've learnt that the hard way.

I got up from my bed and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at my melanated skin, my brown braids, my features and wondered what I was doing with a guy like Xaun anyways? It was then and right then that I decided that the girl doesn't have to be the loyal one, she can also be a heartbreaker.

8:10 pm

Ellie knocked on my door, and I opened it. I giggled at the loud gasp that escaped her mouth. The short black dress that clung onto my body, my exposed chest and heels was something I definitely want used to but I definitely felt powerful in. Powerful enough to make everyone's heartbeat stop.

(This has nothing to do with body type all bodies are beautiful <3)

"You're definitely gonna get some tonight" Ellie quoted, still in shock.

"Please," I rolled my eyes "now let's go to that freakin' party already"
As I entered her car all I could think about is how I'm gonna make Xaun pay for everything he has done to me and to many other girls.

I hope he's at this party because I really want to make him suffer.

And just like that, under 48hrs I had changed. From the heartbroken to the heartbreaker. Xaun will never know what hit him...

Literally.