Heartbeat

Thursday 6th 2014

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!"
Tears that were held in like prisoners had finally escaped, falling to the bottom of the ground, blending with the rain that fell on us both.

I missed being like those tears, being able to blend in with the crowd, hardly being noticed. Just a quiet, innocent, hard working girl. Never had a boyfriend, never been in love nor ever even received anything that felt like love. Not even by her own mother.

They say that time changes people, I'm not really sure if I stand by that quote, but I am sure that people change people. People who are rude, self indulged but are hard to stay away from. Those type of people I usually ignore, not wanting to be involved with them, but look at me now, deeply in love with one and caring for him the same way he cares for me... or so I thought.

"IM SORRY OKAY?,"
I stared at him thinking about what just happened.
"YOU WERENT MEANT TO CATCH ME LIKE THAT!" The disbelief cause me to take a step back from him.

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO CATCH YOU THEN?,"
He stared at me. His green eyes pierced through me like the first day I saw him; a brown haired, 6"1, tanned basketball player.

"I-I DON"-  His stammering had always annoyed me but I'd usually put up with it. Growing up I had to be "precise and punctual" as my mother said or else no one would fall in love with a "ghetto girl". Thinking about her made me light headed and I could tell Xaun was worried but I didn't need that pity from him today.

"YOU HAD SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND?!" I shouted, "HOW ON EARTH WAS I MEANT TO CATH YOU?!" Once again he just stared at me.

"OH LET ME GUESS, INSTEAD OF ME CATCHING YOU FUCKING HER, MAYBE I SHOULD'VE WALKED IN WHEN SHE WAS GIVING YOU HEAD!!"  His eyes widened,

"BABE?! HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT? ALL THAT WAS A MISTAKE YOU KNOW I LOV"-

The anger in me had now reached its peak, I should've walked away that day but a fire in me that was made by his love was burning my heart, completely destroying.

"LOVE?!, HA, YOU DON'T  LOVE ME!, IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED ELLIE, YOU WOULDNT HAVE WENT TO THAT PARTY LAST WEEK KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT MY DAD HAD JUST DIED, AND ON TOP OF THAT HAVING SEX WITH THA- THA- THAT SLUT!!" The tears were unending at this point, but they were the least of my focus. The way Xauns eyes were bulging out surprised that I knew all this baffled me.

"IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD'VE STAYED BY MY SIDE MORE AND ACTED LIKE AN ACTUAL BOYFRIEND. IMAGINE HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO LIE TO YOUR OWN FRIENDS ABOUT HAVING A "HAPPY", "SUCCESSFUL" RELATIONSHIP EVEN THOUGH ITS THE ONE THING YOU WANT TO END OTHER THAN YOURSELF?!!"

We stared at each other for a long time. The lump in my throat was so heavy, all I wanted to do was cut it out and die. The rain was soaking my clothes and was being enveloped by my braids. His clothes were also soaked and his hair had become darker and thinner.

"Let's end this" he said, so quietly it was almost a whisper, but a whisper that was able to catch the attention of my ears.

"But"-

"Aaliyah" he whispered. He moved closer to me and put his hands on my cheeks, cupping them.
"Let's end this."

More tears lefts my eyes as I was melting into his touch. I didn't say anything, besides I  knew his decision was the right one.

He moved his face closer to mine and laying a soft kiss on my lips.

"My Aaliyah, my angel, and sometimes my little devil, I shall always love you and I am great full for the memories we've made, but it's our time to part ways, but remember"-

He pulled out the necklace I brought him for his 17th birthday and continued,

"We are one, we are forever, you are mine"

With that he swiftly turned around and walked away.  I stood there in the rain crying my eyes out as he left me. My first love. My first everything. Gone, just like that. I was too upset to focus on his last words to me,

"We are one, we are forever, you are...mine?"

I went home and laid on my bed.

"What the FUCK just happened?!"