Wings of fire oc master!

Round #1 Moth

Timeline: after sandwing war 

Thanks for including that!

1 point

Tribe: sandwing (female) 

Name: moth

Interesting name but it fits her 

1 point

 Traits: interesting, funny, creative, shy, coward. 

Age: two

 Role: gatherer (secretly royal)

What does role mean? She is to young to have a job.

Scars: has bite scar on neck.

Fits with her back story 

1 point

Phobia: agoraphobia (fear of crowds)

Family: she has two family members. Her sister and her mother. 

Her sister's name: Anubis Her traits: fun, unpredictable, rude (to other dragons), tiny. Age: 1

Younger siblings often seem that way

2 points 

Role: messenger
Her mother's name: bask

Her traits: careful, annoying (sometimes), loveable, alittle big. 

Hmmmmm, seems like a mother to me.  What does a little big mean?

2 points

Age: 11 

She seems a bit young to be a mother, but dragons to age quickly 

Role: scroll maker (scavenger studier)
Backstory: it was peace at the start. Moth had loved drawing paintings and her mother loved studying scavengers. They had some laughs and smiles, Anubis said she wanted to be a spy! It was good times until while they were on awake moth and her family were abused by some Nightwings who caught em. They made em work hard, moth never saw her sister Anubis, and her mother.. tryed to fight them.. but died... Moth and her sister were so busy, the Nightwings made moth paint pictures of beautiful things then they'd sell em to dragons for some gold. 

I'm assuming these are nightwing deserters, otherwise Glory would never allow this.

Moth drew mostly butterflies because her mother wore a necklace that had a butterfly made outta silver. Their was four Nightwings who abused them. Deathstar, bloodbringer, nightshifter, and shadowclaw. One day Anubis was taken on a long trip, whenever Anubis went somewheres shadowclaw had to follow so she wouldn't escape but even if she did they'd tell Anubis that if she runs off they'll kill moth. But one day Anubis said she had a plan to escape, the cave and their cage where they stayed when they weren't doing work. Their was a hole in Anubis cave and she could break it the hole more open and escape getting a key form shadowclaw and letting moth out! Soon they escaped, flying away. They land in the sandwing kingdom, and meet queen thorn, which turns out is their grandmother

In order to be their grandmother Sunny would have had to mate. It's not to significant but it throws me off for some reason. Again, not a major problem, but maybe some explanation on that.

(continuing backstory) So they lived peacefully... For alittle until the shadowclaw kidnaps Anubis and writes a letter to moth. Moth does what the letter says and goes to diamond spray delta, the place where they were kept caged, and abused. She goes their to see her mother bask and her sister Anubis! 

You said that her mother died. Maybe change that or say that Moth thought she died.

Moth gets to make a choose, who will they kill. If she chooses no one they'll just inslaved them again, If she chooses one, she'll and that other dragon will be free as long as they don't say a word. But moth says a duel to the death for em, moth well go up against one of the Nightwings and fight to the death. If moth wins both of them go free and they have to never bother them again, but if she loses then their free to do whatever they want to her family. 

Those are some high stakes, is there some reason for the night wings to accept her terms? They do outnumber her. 

The Nightwings agreed to this and chooses deathstar their best fighter. Moth got ready and won, but the Nightwings lied and got close to killing Anubis but then thorn and her army come in! 

Now that makes sense! 

3 points

Moth forget it to hide the letter but good thing she forgot or Anubis would have died. 

That's a good reason for thorn to know 

1 point

They all lived happily ever after, once the Nightwings were gone. Her mother studied and selled books of scavengers and get her own pet scavenger named Jill, while anubis grew up to become what she dreamed of! A spy! She is actually pretty good. And moth.. grew up to be the greatest sandwing artists in the history of pyrrhia! Heck she is in history! And 87 years later.. she's queen of the sandwings!

Ouch, she killed Thorn. UNGRATEFUL LITTLE!!!!!!!!

Total: 11 points 

I get the feeling you copied this from another roleplay. The backstory is interesting if a little complicated. I like the fact that this doesn't interfere with previous history. I wonder who the father is though. There are maybe one or two continuity errors such as Moths mother being dead. Other then that it's pretty good.

Great job! You passed, now on to the next round!