Santa x reader (extremely kinky)

SOLDD 💴

Christmas Eve, one of the most jolliest times of the year, if you are Christian of course. You had walked over to your neighbour's house, which is also your friend because she had called you previously to come over.

You arrived after what seemed like 3 seconds of walking, knocking on the door, expecting it to be opened by your friend's mother.

"Hey bitch get in this is important" (F/N) opened the door and pulled you inside the house.

"What's up my dude? Why the rush?" You questioned, "where is your mama?" You said as you were pulled deeper into the house.

(F/N) smiles at you, "oh not much" she hummed, "just some things ya know. And my mum is out fucking the neighbour" she said grinning like the troll face meme.

"Oh—? Hmmm okay then?" You said as she let go of your hand, her phone rang. (F/N) looked at the caller ID and scrambled, "I need to take this, uhh mi casa es tu casa" she yelled as she answered the phone.

You being you, taking the "mi casa es tu casa" quite literally made yourself at home opening the fridge and pulling out some ham and cheese to snack on.

Munching on your snacks you over heard your friend on the phone. You listened closely, "yeah yeah she is VERY submissive and VERY breedable  perfect for you guys" thinking nothing of it at first you munched into some cheese. Then you picked a slice of ham up and thought about why you headed, 'sus' you thought, "sounds like human trafficking" you said out loud. And then it clicked, 'does this bitch have the audacity to sell me?'

(F/N) entered the kitchen, snatching a slice of ham from your plate. Looking at you with her usual expression, which is a dead one, "we're gonna have some visitors soon" she hummed, putting a price tag on your wrist.

You looked at her as she was putting the string on your hand, then at your wrist, and the price which said $3M. Your eyes almost leaped out of their sockets. You looked up to (F/N) "please say sike right now hoe" you said with a trembling voice, "I hope this is my Christmas present," your hands were shaking as you tried to flip the middle finger.

(F/N) laughed. You looked at her with horror, "you're gonna sell me?" You cried, "yes, yes that's exactly what I'm gonna do" (F/N) said with a smile on her face.

"You know (Y/N), you are very breedable?" She said as she tried to feed you more cheese. With a moth full you managed to say "yes I am breedble, I mean look at this cake!" Slapping your thighs. "But that's not the point" you paused, "Who are you going to sell me to?" You questioned, curious and scared. She looks you dead in the eyes, "SANTA BABY." You nearly choked, "NOOO NOT SANTA HIS FAT AND OLD AND GAY" you cried as you tried to punch her.

(F/N) continued to torment you.
"Ho ho ho all up in that pussyyyyy" 👌🏻👈🏻, "noooo his oldddd" you would cry.

"Hoe hoe hoe merry Christmas you damn hoe!" You flipped her the middle finger, "jeez you don't have to expose me like that. Damn I am a hoe."

(F/N) tried to comfort you, "he's like the KFC guy except thicc" you rolled your eyes, "too thicc for a man" you slapped your thighs again.

Some time had passed, 3 minutes of silence to be exact. You spoke up, "is Santa at least sexy in bed?" Picking at your cheese. "You know Santa is an illusion right? His too thicc for his own good. And he rides a sled? Nah that's sus." (F/N) patted your shoulders, "Santa is just two men in a potato sack."

Hearing that, the life in your eyes returned and you asked your friend very optimistically "are the two guys shmexy at least? I at least want my offspring to be attractive..." (F/N) straight away replied "Yes, yes they are. Super hot. I'm not selling you to some crusty guy, I found the best ones for ya." You smiled, "great then, you can sell me." You and (F/N) shook hands in agreement to this ludicrous deal.

The doorbell rang, (F/N) jumped up and just like speedy Gonzales she ran to get the door. There stood no one other than Santa. In all his glory he stood and walked in, "ho ho ho" he said in his old man voice just to replace his voice with a deep young sounding voice, "aight, where's the money and the hoe you're selling us?" (F/N) dragged Santa into the kitchen, "hoe hoe hoe, here is the hoe" she extended her hand towards you. "Santa?" you looked at the old man in front of you, "no you child, don't look at me like that" the Santa suit unzipped at the top and two super shmexy men came out, both shirtless showing off their glorious abs off to you. 

You covered your eyes, "oh my-" while nose bleeding, "(F/N) how can you not drool? SANTA IS SO SHMEXY" (F/N) laughed "ha ha haha ha ha no matter how shemxy he is, my asexuality doesn't want me to drool" (F/N) smiled as she made the ok sign with one hand, slipping her index finger through it smiling. 

The two Santa boys held each one of your hand in theirs, "I'm Christopher," the one Santa boy said, "and I'm Christof" the other one said as he leaned in to put some strand of hair behind your ear, "what's the lovely lady's name?" Christopher said as you flushed. "m-me? o-Oh I'm (Y/N) hehe" you blushed and fluttered your eyelashes. 

"oh uh.." you were carried over Christopher's shoulder, "eeeeek!? you shrieked. You felt your legs be held by firm yet soft hands, looking at who was holding you up you saw Christof carrying your legs. The two men carried you out of the house in single file as (F/N) stood at her driveway waving, "goodbyeee (Y/N), send me a message on discord when you land safely in Santa's layout!" As you were being carried away you gave (F/N) a wave goodbye before being stuffed into Santa's big ass shit brown bag among the presents that were for the 'good children'. 

(Y/N) wondered  crammed in the brown bag, 'oh god what has my life come to...'