- Roxanne's POV -
After we all ate dinner I couldn't stop thinking about Mattheo's words repeating in my head. He confessed he loved me a year ago but it was the right person, wrong time. But when he said it today it was different, it felt like the right time.
But going back and thinking, I was the one who forced myself to be away from him because of all the things that were going on in our lives at the time. I could have fought for us, but I didn't. I felt like I let him down and it ate at me every single day of my life.
I tried to move on trying things with Lucas but they didn't work out. And don't get me wrong it wasn't him, it was me. Lucas was an amazing guy anything a normal girl could ever ask for. He was good-looking, rich, and successful.
But it was nothing like I ever felt for Mattheo, not even close. Over these past few months, all my head could think of was him. But when my father died Lucas was the one who helped me heal and grieve properly while also helping my family.
When I wished it could have been somebody else. When I saw him at the base I could see the pain in his eyes when he saw me with Mattheo. And I didn't want to hurt, why would I?
But I also didn't want to hurt Mattheo again after I left him. He was also helping me with my family and keeping all of us safe. I felt pressured to have to choose between both men who were good to me. I never even imagined myself in a situation like this, ever.
Helping my mom put away the clean dishes out of the dishwasher she gave me the face when she knows somethings up. I didn't really want to give into because I didn't really want to talk about, but I knew at some point I had to tell someone.
"Alright that's it, tell me what's wrong?" She says drying her hands with a small towel near the sink and looking up at me. I looked at her confused thinking she could fall for it. But if somebody knew me well it was my mother.
"Don't give me that face, Roxanne. Talk to me, I know something's wrong." She says softly with a sad smile. I take a deep breath and look up at her. What was I going to tell her?
"It's...complicated, I don't really know how to explain it," I say. She grins placing my hands in hers.
"Complicated enough for me to not understand your having men problems?" She asks with a small smirk.
I look at her in shock. Was it really that obvious that she knew or was she reading my mind? I exhale the breath I didn't even know I was holding and slightly nod.
She pulls me towards the living room as we sit down across from each other on the couch. She pulls a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"I've never been in your situation before because I was lucky enough that your father wouldn't even let a man come near me," she says with a smile looking back at a memory. I let out a small laugh.
"But I know that you love them both and care about them. But sometimes Roxanne, you have to stand up for yourself and make the choice you think feels right, for you. No matter how much it hurts the other person because if they also truly care about you they will respect your decision no matter how much it hurts them because they want what's best for you." She says with a smile.
She was right, I never actually saw it that way. I was too worried about hurting the other person than caring about what I actually wanted. That was what was stopping me. And I knew deep down what I wanted, who I wanted.
I wrap my arms around my mom and hug her. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her in my life. She was one of the few best things in my life.
"Thank you, mom," I say almost in a whisper. She hugs me back and then pulling away she smiles at me with a slight nod.
Mattheo suggested if I wanted to stay the night and if I did he would stay as well but I told him it was fine, It wasn't that I didn't want to stay with my family because I did, but I wanted to be alone with Mattheo and tell him the truth about how I really feel.
He seemed to be okay with my answer so we said our goodbyes making sure we're going to be back, soon. The car ride back to the house was quiet which I liked. It was good to have a little silence every now in then, It was good to reflect on things in the past and present.
When we finally arrived Mattheo turned off the car in the driveway and just sat there. I glance over at him to see him already looking at me making a small smile appear on the corners of my lips.
"Roxanne, I overheard you and your mom talking and I want you to know that whoever you-" Mattheo tries to explain but I cut him off with two words. Two words that would change everything.
"It's you," I say softly, meaning it with my heart and whole body. I felt a weight lift off my chest saying those words. It was him since the very begging and I kept denying it because I was scared of this feeling I've never felt for anyone in my life. He looks at me almost in shock but quickly fades with a smirk.
"I love you, Mattheo Anderson. I always have and always will," I say in a more confident tone, his smirk growing wider. Without even thinking twice Mattheo pulled me into a passionate kiss full of need and want. I gave in immediately letting him know that I wanted more, more of him, more of us.
Not letting go of the kiss he takes of seat belt my seatbelt pulling me onto his lap. I put my hands in his hair tugging on it gently making him groan in pleasure. His hands on my thighs gripping on them while pulling me closer towards him making him feel him underneath me.
I try to move my position but Mattheos car wasn't made for car sex. I small laugh escapes my lips as Mattheo slowly kisses my neck. He pulls away looking confused.
"What is it?" He says with a smile trying to hold back his own laugh.
"This car wasn't made for...this," I say putting my lips in a straight line holding back another laugh.
"Who said I was gonna take you in this car, love?" He says with a smirk making me bite down on my bottom lip. I loved when he would call me that, he had no idea how it turned me on.
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Rivals To Lovers | ✔️
RomanceMy name is Roxanne Knight, I was born into the Italian Mafia and was destined to be the best female assassin. But life takes its mysterious ways and I end up falling in love with my enemy. Find out what happens on Rivals To Lovers. 🖤✨ # 1 mafiarom...