Feelings

Overtaken

My stomach feels warm, it tickles me from the inside out
My cheeks are burning and though I haven't moved from my place in bed,
I'm out of breath.

The feeling overtakes me

I'm drowning above water,
My heart beats erratically.

There's no one here but me,
I've been left alone for hours
But the fear that I will be disturbed only grows as the friction I create between me and myself  becomes greater.

Slick body writhing against dark sheets,
My mind wanders to a place I've not been to,
Least not with the pleasure of myself having gone in my physical form,

I travel in my mind.

He's here like always

So is everyone else, but their doors are shut and the sounds of them,
Muffled.

The way he touches me is like a dream

Only my own hands were there though another set of large and narrow ones ghosted along my figure,

A door creaks open.

My heart begins to droop.

I'm filled with doubt, and my good sentiments were like a thin paper

A flicker of a flame draws closer and my body lays almost limp

It was small, though its heat was tenacious

The point I had to stop it was none, it was only paper after all.
This paper is of no use, insignificant, meaningless. I don't need it.

The tiny flame only grew as its furious hands gripped the blanch paper

Another door opens and a shallow wave washes both the paper and flame alike, gone as if they'd never been.

Chest heaving, my eyes had been closed for too long,

They open, and the wave had followed me, the feeling of it crashing against the backs of my eyes,
Seeping out from between narrow cracks

I am met with the rather disappointing reality of my life,
And the fact that he was never there to begin with becomes increasingly and painstakingly clear to me.

My stomach feels empty and my guts pinch me,
My cheeks feel flat against my now plainly made expression,

My feelings fall in between.

I lie in my bed still quite unmoved
In a neutral state of mind

The state of my mind had become quite agley,
A center standing point was no longer the most obvious.

The feeling overtakes me.

__________

Feel free to interpret each and every line however which way you like :)

This isn't the best thing I've written, but it felt nice to describe my feelings this way.