Sorry, that one comes really late. I started to write it several weeks ago and didn't finish it by then. However, I didn't want to delete it completely. So here you go.
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P.O.V. Marcus
It's just awful. Last time in Monaco two DNF's and now the same again in Baku. Why does this always have to happen to me? It seems like this bad luck doesn't want to stop.
I'm just so annoyed - with other drivers that pushed me off the track, that left me no space but most of all I'm annoyed with myself and why I just can't do something right and finish a fucking race. I hate me so much in the moment.
After the race ended not-planned earlier for me, I went straight to my hotel room and didn't leave it since then. I am tired, not physically but mentally in particular. It's just really stressful to think about your mistakes every single time, even when I wasn't at fault. I tend to doubt myself very much and I will always search for mistakes in me.
Now it's already Sunday evening but I still didn't have the motivation to get up, even when I got quite hungry already.
I lay in the big bed in my hotel room burying my face in the pillow. Because I'm so deep in my thoughts, I don't even notice that Arthur comes in.
I had given him a second hotel room card. He had come to Baku together with his brother, so he could watch his and my race. After the feature race ended earlier for me, he immediately came to see me and tried to comfort me and reassure me that it wasn't my fault but I would always blame myself too. At that time I was just furious and dissapointed and I probably wasn't very nice to him because there were too much emotions inside of me. We hadn't talked much, then I just left. So now I also felt bad because I had treaten him unfair when he just wanted to be there for me.
I feel the mattress lower beside me and I know Arthur lays down next to me. "Hey, mon chéri", he says in a soft voice and runs his hand through my hair. I slowly turn my face to him.
"How are you?" he asks in his sweet French accent and and he smiles softly at me. The guilt immediately rises in me because he is such a selfless and kind person. I move over to him and snuggle my face into his chest. He slings his arms around me and pulls me closer. I immediately feel a bit better and that's what I tell him as well. I will always feel safe in his arms.
"I'm sorry", I say. He lifts his head and looks at me in surprise. "Why are you sorry?" "I was an idiot earlier. I'm sorry for treating you wrong. I know you just wanted to help me." I said depressed. "Don't be sorry, Marcus. It's okay. I completely understand you. I would probably act the same. It's so frustrating when you do everything right and someone else ends your race."
"I was afraid you won't come", I admitted. "You know I can't be mad at you for a long time", he responded. "Now forget about that and these stupid races. You did great and next time you will be rewarded for your effort. I'm sure about that. You are a great driver" he added and smiled warmly at me. "You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend." I pout. "No, I'm saying that because it's the truth. I love you and I would never lie to you." He smiles at me and runs his hand through my hair again and stops at my neck to caress my skin.
"Thank you so much. You always find such comforting words." He leans down to me and gives me a light kiss on the lips. "That goes without saying. You would do the same if I was in this situation." I smile at him and snuggle again into his warm embrace and close my eyes. He is right but it just feels good to know that he cares for me. "I love you too."
We lay there for a while. He caresses my back in a comforting manner that helps me calm down. After a while I feel him move. I grunt lightly because of the loss of his touch which had felt so good and I almost fell asleep. I look up at Arthur and see how he had taken his phone and is typing something.
"What are you doing?" I ask. "I'm just texting Charles that I'm not going to the party." he simply answers.
"Which party?" I ask him again, so he explains, "Charles told me there will be a party this afternoon in one of the big hotel suites. He invited me and said I can bring you of course as well but I will text him that I will spend a quiet evening with you here. He will understand that, at least he also noticed that about your race."
"No, let's go there", I immediately say.
"Marcus, it's okay. I respect that you want to have a quiet evening to sort out your thoughts." But he can't bring me away from the idea.
"No really, that brings me to other thoughts." "Are you sure?" he asked skeptical. "Yes, come on, text him that we will come." I tried to convince him and added, "We can still cuddle later."
"Okay then, when you really want that, I'm fine with it. I just want the best for you." he responded, still a bit unsure. "I know", I smiled contently and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"But before we go, you have to shower!" he demands and looks strictly at me. "Are you saying that I stink?" I ask played shocked and put my hand on my chest to be more dramatic. "No, but you are still wearing your racing suit, so I doubt you showered already. " he points at the suit I'm still wearing indeed. When I came in my hotel room earlier today, I was just to lazy to get out of it. I have to admit, it wasn't very comfortable but when I had laid down once, I didn't want to get up again. So I confess "yes, you're right. Do you want to come with me?", I grin cheekily and wiggle my eyebrows while slowly approaching my boyfriend and sling my arms around his neck. He places his hands on my hips and sadly rejects me. "Babe, I'd love to but I can't or else we won't be able to go to the party. We can still do that later." He repeats my own words and winks at me. Then he pushes me gently but firmly in the direction of the bathroom door. I pout but eventually go in the bathroom to hop in the shower.
Fresh out of the shower, I feel much better than before. I washed the race off my body and was now free for other thoughts and ready to have some fun.
"Are you ready?" Arthur asks as I step out of the bathroom. "Yes, absolutely. I just hope they have something to eat. I'm starving." I say slightly embarrassed. "I'm sure that's not a problem" he chuckles as he opens the door for us to leave.
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