Random wonders, memes, and an existential crisis or twelve

Quotes to make you think or laugh

 None of these are mine starting here:

 Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Bernard Baruch

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. -Abraham Lincoln 

A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. - Denis Waitley

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. - Don Marquis

A woman is like a tea bag -- you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out. - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. - Josh Billings

 Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. - Dr. Seuss

 Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin

Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. -Benjamin Franklin

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. - Albert Camus 

I relate to this one quite a bit^

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. - John Hughes

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already? - Cynthia Heimel

Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most. - Ozzy Osbourne 

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

He who laughs last didn't get the joke. - Charles de Gaulle

If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman. - Doug Larson

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Bryan White

 In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep. - Albert Einstein

When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That's how doors work. - Anonymous

When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "Plot Twist" and move on. - Anonymous

You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way. - Anonymous

Opportunities are like sunsets. If you wait too long, you miss them. - William Arthur Ward

Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. - Anonymous

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. - Robert Oppenheimer

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. - Murphy's Law

Who else is nervous enough to take their word for it?

My Doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said: "No, we all seem to enjoy it. - Anonymous

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. - Anonymous

People need to start appreciating the effort I put in to not be a serial killer. - Anonymous

It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous

When people see you laying down with your eyes closed, they still ask "Are you sleeping?" And I'm like, "No. I'm training to die." - Anonymous

I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell. - Anonymous

True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing. - Anonymous

Good friends don't let you do stupid things...alone. - Anonymous

Only real friends tell you when your face is dirty. - Anonymous

Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. - Anonymous

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face. - Anonymous

I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me. - Anonymous

The awkward moment when you're that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. - Anonymous

An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous

 I may look calm but in my mind, I've killed you three times. - Anonymous

You know what I like about people? Their dogs. - Anonymous

Some people are a human version of a migraine. - Anonymous

Silence is golden. duct tape is silver. - Anonymous

People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite. - Anonymous

Next is sarcastic quotes... Im assuming at least some of you love using things like these sometimes.

THERE IS a TW for drug refrences in like one quote below, so im putting the rest of sarcastic quotes in another paragraph if you want to skip

"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus."- Robin Williams