big bang theory quotes

howard

HOWARD

Howard: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.

Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day you'll have good luck.

Rajesh: Back off Sheldon.

Sheldon: What?

Rajesh: If you do not stop hitting on my lady you will feel the full extent of my wrath.

Sheldon: I'm not hitting on her.

Lalita: And I am not your lady.

Howard: And you have no wrath.

Scene: Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.

Sheldon: Why?

Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: Okay, one way to look at this is that I'm getting new equipment, and you're not, and that's unfair. But a better way to look at this is that I'm getting sex and you're not, and that's delightful.

Leonard: So, you guys want to do something tonight?

Howard: Nah, I can't. I got to pick up my mom from her water aerobics class. 18 overweight women flapping their arm fat in a swimming pool. Looks like the manatee tank at Sea World.

Howard: Yeah, um, I have a two-part question.

Sheldon: Go ahead.

Howard: A, are you kidding me? And B, seriously, are you freaking kidding me?