Fruit Fly

May 7, 2004

        It's Friday, 6 o'clock. I went to my closet and prepared my clothes. It's too cold for a shower. Sun's still not up. As I walk towards bath, I peek at her room. She's still sleeping face down on her pillow. Maybe she's exhausted from her work. She came home last night at 9 o'clock when I was already asleep. She knocked like a hundred times before I opened the door for her. She brought me some snacks but I don't feel hungry at that time so I went back to sleep. I don't want to disturb her so I head to bath without a word.

        While preparing my breakfast, I look at my time, 7:30AM. An hour before I become a librarian. So I’ve eaten my oats as fast as I can. Well, it's not so hot because I have a magic. I look at her room again before I go, still sleeping so I left her a note saying "Breakfast at noon? Oats at lunch? Nice idea" then I started walk my way to school.

        School is thirty minutes far from our house by walking and 15 minutes by car so let's say my average speed is two meters per second and car's acceleration is.. just kidding. I love physics. It makes my mind broader, bigger, more open, and whatever but I hate my professor. Ever. I'm currently working on my school's library and I have a sweet friend there. I like her every time she cracks jokes to me but sometimes she's too serious that I have no idea if it's true or another joke. Sometimes her jokes can really hurt. It just happens. But I will handle. Her name is Nikki. I call her Kitten because of her full name Nikki Tinebro. You know.. You should laugh. It's a joke, yes. Just saying if you don't get it. Nik ‘Kitten’ Nebro. Please laugh. Whatever it doesn't matter. I'm just in a good mood today.

        I'm now in the library and I feel so mad. You surely don't know the feeling of being ridiculed like my life is just a joke. Urrrh! I just want to burst! I hate the people especially those girls who just slapped the books in my hand. Gosh! And the worst was they just ignored what happened! I hope they'll die right now. Right in this second as I write these words. Urrrh! If I have the urge to write later what just happened, I will.

        It's 9:04AM and I feel better now. I just want to write this so I can laugh at this soon when I reach my eighteenth year. Twenty-four days left! I'm so excited. What will that Kate Perez give me? Oh, my gosh. Will she surprise me?! That would be so sweet! (Note: Don't ask her so you'll be surprised. If she has a surprise). Okay, back to my story. When I arrived at the school gate, it was fifteen minutes before my duty so I walked faster than I can. Then I ran upstairs to the school library. I'm in the stack maintenance so of course I have to arrange the books. While I was organizing the books, two I-thought-they're-smart-girls-but-they're-just-wannabe-smart-so-they'll-catch-guys'-attention girls walked towards me and they disrespectfully slammed their hands, I mean the other girl slapped her hand, to the books which I am holding so I was so angry at them. But I did not say anything. I thought they just want to ruin my day, and it worked, but they stood still while I was picking the books up and the tall one said "I'm sorry. It's not my fault, right?" while smiling at her another evil friend. I hate, really hate, them. They just pisses me off. Such immature minds!

        Lunch. I just ate lunch and I want it again. I hope every time I need a break I can grab some of it on my pocket. Hope they were just as handy as a phone. I am in my classroom now. Waiting for Professor Peralejo, my psychology teacher. I am alone here. Time by time, my classmates arrive. Some of them stopped throwing papers at me. But some purposely hit my face with their books and bags. I want to confront them but they once told me that if I fight back, they'll do everything they can to ruin my life. I fear them. What they would do to my twin. To me. To my life. So I just ignore. Then our professor arrives with her folders and papers then she says "Good afternoon umm... class? Or umm.. Okay, so, who among you here were familiar with what I would discuss to you right now?" posting a photo of two people. One hiding and looks scared. One smiling looking at the crowd. Then she writes the letters: S, E, L, L, and then she erased the last L. She added F - E S T E E M. "Anybody knows about what self-esteem is? No body? Okay, I'll just umm... pick a name from my record, wait." She opens her folder and took like 0.57 seconds before she added words. Even that, I calculate. But I feel so nervous thinking that she'll- "Perez? What is self-esteem?" oh no. I knew it.

        Now I'm really nervous and scared. I look up to her from hunching down. "Ummmm... ahhhh..." I know what self-esteem is. I know what the answer is but I'm too scared to speak.

        "Perez?" I jumped on my sit from the mixed emotion and surprise. "What is seeeelllffff-esssteeeeeemmmm?" Her voice is slowing down as my nerves are preparing to pop. Then I hear everyone start laughing and I feel so embarrassed. I'm so ashamed. I just want to disappear from this situation. I forgot the answer. Then I see a paper from my right floating in my vision. I grab it and it says ‘Pride and Confidence’.

        "Pride and confidence." I answered. Then I look at my right, and I saw a warm smile. A pretty girl blinking her beautiful eyes at me. "Thank you." I said. She just smiled more and it's like how she says 'you're welcome.'

        After the class, I went to the comfort room and fixed myself when the girl to whom I owe appears. "Hi, my name is Lara Kleir." Giving her hand to me. I don't respond. Not because her last name sounds like my first name but I just want to test her if I can really trust her. Then she puts her hand back to her side. "How… umm.." she exhales deeply. "How are you?" her smile falls a bit.

        "Fine." I stare at her throat, then to her eyes, and look back at the mirror.

        "Umm... can I ask you something? Can I be your friend?" she almost cried when she said this. I hope she cried so I can say yes but she didn't so..

        I look at her eyes again and asked her with a full confusion, "Why?"

        "I just, umm.. I can see you always-" then her phone rang. "Hello, mom? What?" then she signs me that she'll be back and she went outside. I leave the room and sprinted to my next class. I wonder what she’ll tell me before that call interrupted.

        'NO CLASS TODAY. QUIZ TOMORROW!' was written on the board. My physics class. I hate the teacher. Like every time she wants a quiz yet she doesn't even explain a thing. Insane. It's a two-hour class so I have a lot of free time now.

        After my last class, English, I walk to the end gate and I saw Kate waiting for me there. "I know you're wondering why I'm here but I tell you:" she started to count her fingers "First, my morning tutorial with the kindergartens has perfectly no class due to the school's anniversary; Second, my evening tutorial with the grade sevens was cancelled today -just today- because of I don't know. Some students weren't feeling well since yesterday so the head tutor told me to cancel the class because maybe the virus and whatever disease will you know… spread; Third, I just want to walk with you!" I can say nothing but a smile. Then I realized, she did a good act for me. She wants me to cook for her.

        "Okay, I got it, I'll cook for you." Then she laughs.

         When we were at home, I cooked for her a meal, French fries and vegetable salad because I don't cook that much. Dinner's ready and we talked about her work again. She tells me about her boss that she thinks is a part of a cult because of the weird scarfs, bracelets, rings, and necklaces. Then I went to my room and read a book and I felt sleepy. G'night.