Let me hide

Chapter 14

The incessant sounds coming from downstairs is not a pleasant sound to hear when your trying to concentrate. I guess when you have brothers, your never not going to here it.

The consequences of my actions did catch up with me. Word got to the office, and they pulled the tapes. I got suspended for three days, since Julianna left school, they didn't see it as a major issue.

Dylan was upset with me at first, but he knows I don't do anything randomly. So after about a day, we had to sit down and have a serious talk. "Serious" more like he STILL had no idea about anything.

I apologized to Marcus for accusing him of the placing of the blades, but I told him that I didn't change anything. He had to know, that not helping, not saying anything, and just mocking was not right.

Junior told us what his better thing was. He has officially "started" a band. By started, I mean he has found the people he wants to be in it. He says, that this is what he has wanted for so long and he's so happy it's finally here.

After a while of still hearing the insentient noise, I decide to try and take a nap instead. I'd rather sleep than do work in all honesty. Yet, the sheer lack of tiredness makes me stay wide awake. So, I just lay awake in the bed as I try to remember the amount of blades are on my ceiling fan as it spins.

*****

Eventually, Dylan realizes I am not downstairs and invites me down. It honestly took him a good two hours to notice, so I'm not sure why he even bothered, he had to have known I could hear them.

Juniors supposed band members were over and some of Dylan's college friends. They had veered to the backyard where drinking and a bonfire had started.

I swiped a beer when Dylan wasn't looking and went to the front yard. I'm sure the party was fun, but it wasn't really my scene. I drink some of my drink and watch the moon rise.

When my drink is empty, I make my way back to the party. Marcus is drinking a beer with someone who looks a lot like Logan. It's not until I get closer to him that I realize it actually is Logan.

Marcus looks at me, and in his eyes I can tell it's with pity. I give him a nice middle finger as I grab two beers and return to my room. I sit at my desk and open on of the beers. The shit show that has become my life, surfaces to the top and makes me angry.

When I'm angry, I cry. I've never been the type of person to not let it get to me. While in most cases, I don't care. I still cry, I still let it get to me. No matter the circumstance.

It's not until I'm halfway done with my second beer that Dylan notices I'm not outside. I hear him shout my name from the kitchen, and yet I don't go down. I don't want to go outside, and I don't want to talk to anyone.

I keep my door locked and my mouth shut. Maybe, he will think I want to bed or something. I get a text and I soon realize that it is from Preston.

He is at the front door, Dylan didn't realize I wasn't there. He was opening the damn door. I walk downstairs, a little wobbly. Mainly, because I was going fast, I'm not really a lightweight.

I get to the door and sure enough there is Dylan and Preston. I tell Dylan he can return to his party, and that Preston and I will just stay on the front porch.

I can tell Preston has some concern, but I don't address it until I close the door. He seems to notice everything, even the things I don't want noticed.

"What?" I ask, as he looks at me concerned.

"Is that alcohol on your breathe?" He asks, which means, if he noticed, Dylan probably did too.

It takes me a second to respond. I hadn't thought about it before coming down. There was definitely bound to be some sort of smell. I avoid eye contact and try to make it known I want the topic of conversation to be changed.

After a while, he gets the hint. "So, what's going on here tonight?" He asks. I know he came over for a reason, so this chit chat seems a little odd.

"The boys are throwing a party, what did you come over here for" trying to get straight to the point, I ask.

"I was just thinking about you, I find myself doing that a lot" he says casually.

I find myself leaping into his arms for a hug. It's not everyday, especially in my life, that someone says there thinking of me. My parents don't call, and they rarely text. My brothers have there own lives now, that don't really revolve around taking care of me.

It's not until he asks 'what's wrong' is it that I realize I have let a few tears loose. I release from the hug and step back. I know I have drunken enough for things to slip and I don't want that to happen.

"Are you okay?" He asks worriedly, as he tries to walk near me. I take a step back, I don't want to get to vulnerable.

Maybe it's the alcohol or maybe it's the moonlight, but something in me makes me want to kiss him. The moment, just doesn't seem there though.

"Yeah, I'll be fine" I answer as seriously as I can.

"You'll be fine, but your not fine now" he notes.

Oh this boy is going to be the death of me. I open the front door and grab and blanket off the couch before sitting on the porch waiting for Preston to join me.

"My parents, you might notice, are never home.  Dylan has raised me since I was five years old. He was twelve the first time my parents left for work. Not long ago, I started to notice things about myself, things I didn't like. So, I took my anger out on myself, literally. I hurt myself and I soon realized I was depressed. These are just two of things that I have to think about on a day to day basis. I have so many things, that I can't share. Your the first person, I've even let get this close to me. Other than Julianna, and even she didn't know everything. I might not be able to tell you everything else tomorrow or ever, but I'm so thankful your in my life"

He looks at me, almost if he's about to cry. I lean in for a kiss and so does he. He kissed me so passionately, it makes me melt inside. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for a relationship, but it's definitely something I have to consider. I'm falling for him, and I'm falling hard.