Every hello ends with a goodbye, right?

Chapter 1: Spilled coffee

4th of May 2006. 10 years old.

There I was, with my back to the door. All I could hear was the family war. I wished they would just stop screaming. Stop fighting for once. However, we all knew how this would end. With me begging please, stay. However, it was all hopeless and pointless. He was leaving either way. 

“You can’t leave Steve! Think about Jenna and Melanie! They're just kids!" mom was practically begging the life out of herself. 

"Just let me go! I don’t love you nor those filthy kids” my father spat back. 

It all sounded blurry to me except that one sentence, it was loud and clear. He did not love us. I was unimportant, worthless, and insignificant. I was nothing to him. 

“Steve you are drunk! You don’t know what you are saying. Please just stay with me, you don’t have to go” 

Then someone slammed the door, and the whole house went quiet. Too quiet. As I sat there with my head resting against my bedroom door, the 10 year old me didn't understand it. I didn't understand that someone you loved could just walk out of your life. I was too young, too carefree and too lighthearted. 

6 years later

“Dad? Daddy? Daddy?” 

I sat up in my bed sweaty and warm. I had one of those nightmares again. Well I have had them for six years now, so what did I except? I started having the dreams after he left my family and me. Without even look back once. Always the same. The memory of him leaving will never fade. It's imprinted to the deepest of my soul.

I had stopped crying long time ago but the pain never goes away. I still feel that sting in my stomach whenever I think of him. I still hear my mom cry at night. She drinks a lot too, too much actually. I could come home from school and she would be drunk. Jenna is fine though. She was twelve when he left. She coped with it much better than I ever did. Maybe because she didn’t hear him leave, like I did. 

Jenna is the captain of the cheerleader in our school. She is very popular. Unlike me, I am a “nobody”. I feel insignificant like nobody care for me. Don't get me wrong, I do have friends. Haven and Taylor are just not people you would like to hang with after school. We don't really have anything in common. They cared about school too much, they never do anything fun. We sit at the same lunch table talking about the same things over and over again. I guess I've just grew apart from them. I think that we are only friends because of those friends-bracelets we made four years ago. 

I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I had long light brown hair and big green eyes. People called me pretty, but I do not feel pretty. I am too skinny, only skin and bones. However, I cover it up easily with baggy clothes. Nobody knows about me not eating enough. Then again, who would really care? 

“Melanie are you done yet?” Jenna’s high pitch voice jelled through the door and interrupted my thoughts. "There are other people who want to shower too you know” I sighed, I haven’t even showered yet and school starts in thirty minutes. 

“Jen give me five minutes!” I cried back. When we were kids, we made up nicknames for each other. Jen and Mel. We used to be really tight as kids, but now i don't even know if Jenna sees me as a sibling anymore. 

“Jesus Christ Mel you’re unbelievable! I already had detention two times this week! I seriously don’t want another!” I could hear the anger in her voice even through the door. I better hurry up before she kick the door down.

I took a fast shower and got dressed. I walked out and saw my sister sitting on the floor with her back leaning against the wall. 

“Finally!” She pushed past me in to the bathroom. I pulled up my phone and I looked at the clock. Seven thirty eight. Not bad.