That Stupid List

Part One: Lily

Lily was not a morning person. She would gladly stay up all night if she could, but mornings were not her thing; they were James'. She'd never woken up before him.

James. Lily longed for her boyfriend as her groggy hand grazed his empty side of the bed. He'd been on a mission for the past few days with two others from the Order. It was just scouting, but Lily worried any time he left. He'll be home in two days, she told herself.

Lily pushed herself out of bed and into a shower. She got out, dried off, and put on a pair of jeans and one of James' sweaters over the first t-shirt she could find. Then came the knock at her door.

Remus was on the other side of the doorway. "We gotta go to St. Mungos," he said. "James is hurt."

Lily's heart sank into her stomach. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "What?"

"We just got the call from Euphemia. There was some kind of explosion yesterday afternoon in Frosterley."

"And we're just finding out now?" Her voice shook.

"She didn't realize no one had called us. C'mon, let's go."

Lily darted back into her room to grab her wand and put on her shoes. She met the boys at the front door of their flat. Together they apparated to the lobby of St. Mungos. The apparition combined with her anxiety made her head spin.

James' mother was waiting for them. She strode over as soon as they saw her. Her face was splotchy, as if she'd been crying. The sight of her like this made the tears already running down Lily's face go faster.

"How's he doing?" Sirius asked.

"He'll be okay," Euphemia replied. Her voice was still a little hoarse. "The healers fixed him up and once he's awake he won't be here for much longer. Come with me, he's just on the ground floor."

"Artefact injuries?" Peter asked.

"The Ministry isn't exactly sure what caused the explosion," Euphemia explained as they walked towards the room. "But there was a potions shop near the center. We're being safe."

Lily wasn't quite listening. Her brain couldn't stop playing scenarios as soon as she could think of them. She saw James being thrown across the street, or thrown into another building, or onto the ground. And in every scenario, she could do nothing to help him. Why had they waited so long to tell her? Her throat felt tight enough to choke herself.

"Here we are," Euphemia said. "Go on in and take a seat."

Lily stood in the door as the boys greeted James' father and took their seats. James was laying asleep- or unconscious- on his bed. His arms lay beside him on top of the blanket that covered his lower torso and below. His face and arms were riddled with cuts and bruises. The freakishly long bed made him look small and frail, as if one touch would break him in two. Lily's breath caught in her throat.

"Lily, dear," Euphemia addressed her gently, putting a hand on her shoulder in comfort. She must have heard the small gasp. "I know this looks scary. He'll be alright. Why don't you sit down? Have you eaten anything today?"

Lily tried to answer her, but no words came out of her mouth. She felt like a fish out of water, silently gasping for air. Why had she been told so late?

"She hasn't eaten yet." Sirius was now standing beside her. An arm began to guide her into the room and towards a newly empty chair. "I can get everyone some food."

Lily moved her head as if to object as Sirius made her sit down in the chair he had occupied a few seconds earlier; but again, no words came. She pulled her knees close together, hunched over, and crossed her arms. It seemed like the most comfortable- or maybe the safest- position at the moment.

"I can go with you," Peter offered. He stood up and followed Sirius out the door.

Euphemia took the chair next to Lily, as Peter had left it open when he left. She put a hand on her knee and gave her a reassuring look. Not to offend Euphemia, but Lily knew she wouldn't be reassured until James was awake. Maybe if they'd been at the hospital earlier...

Lily tried not to focus on what could have been. Instead, she tried to soothe herself with other times James had gotten hurt but had recovered. Most of them were quidditch injuries that involved maybe a day in the infirmary at most. None of them made him look this bad. And for all of the others... she knew about it immediately. She was his girlfriend! Why was she the last to know that he'd been hurt?

Sirius and Peter returned after some time with breakfast sandwiches and fruit for everyone. Lily took hers, but couldn't bring herself to eat it. Instead she kept herself scrunched up for hours, as if she was a child in a serious game of hide-and-seek. She just wanted all of this to be over. She wanted James awake and okay and at home. She wanted to wake up the next morning in his arms, not next to an empty spot in their bed. She couldn't relax until she knew any of that was going to happen. She wouldn't.

"James." Fleamont's voice sounded startled.

It seemed Lily might get her wish. James was awake.