That Stupid List

Part Two: James

It was a shame James had to wake up; he had been having a rather fantastic dream. He and Lily had been sitting in a lovely meadow together, a picnic blanket below them. She had been leaning against him, sleeping soundly; her dark red hair falling peacefully over her face. His arm had been draped around her shoulder to keep her from falling backwards- and keep her close to him as she slept. He wanted more than anything to stay that way forever. Unfortunately, he had to regain consciousness.

The pain came as soon as he opened his eyes. His entire body ached. It felt like he'd run straight into a wall. He groaned as his hand began to feel around for his glasses. Blurry vision was no use to him if he needed to get his bearings. Was he in a bed?

"James," a startled voice said. It was his father's.

"Dad?" His voice came out groggily. "My glasses..."

"Hold still, mate." Sirius' voice was on his right. "I've got your precious specs."

James closed his eyes. He felt his glasses settle on his face. When he opened them again, his world was much clearer. Sirius and his father were leaning over his face, one on each side. He saw his mother, Remus, and Peter standing further down the bed; Pete next to Sirius and the others on his father's side. Where's Lily?

"How're you feeling?" Remus asked him.

James made a second pain assessment. "Awful," he laughed. Then he winced. That hurt. "I think I got hit by a train."

"Close, dear," his mother said. Apparently his incorrect guess amused her- she was smiling. "There was an explosion."

Her words were a trigger of sorts. Suddenly James remembered standing on a street in Frosterley, waiting for Brian McKinley to come out of a small grocery store nearby. Matt Rogers had gone across the street to look at a new novel he'd seen in the window of a bookshop they'd passed. James had been facing Rogers as he had been walking back when a force from behind had flung him across the street and into a wall. The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was Rogers' worried face hovering over him.

"McKinley," James groaned. "Where's- I didn't see him."

His friends shared a look. "None of us have spoken to Kingsley yet," Remus said. He turned to James' parents. "Did you?"

His father nodded. The expression on his face was solemn. "He checked in briefly a few hours ago and had to leave as soon as we said you would be okay. Your friend Brian... he didn't make it. He was much closer to the blast than you were."

James' heart sank. He and McKinley weren't necessarily friends but... Merlin, did he have to die? "And Rogers?"

"He made it out okay," His mother said. "A few cuts and bruises from debris, but he wasn't even admitted. He even stopped by for a second to see how you were doing."

James let out a sigh of relief. "So I was Goldilocks, then?" He laughed as much as he could without sending jolts of pain through his ribs. "Injured enough to be of concern but not dead. Just right for what I went through."

"Goldilocks?" Sirius asked.

"Muggle childrens' story," Peter answered.

James nodded. "Lily told me about it once, though I didn't quite understand why the family was bears and not just... other humans." James paused. There was no way Lily wasn't here. He knew her too well; she'd never left his side during an injury, not unless someone had forced her out of the room. But here, he couldn't even see an empty chair for her. "Where is Lily?"

Remus looked behind him and then stepped to the side, revealing Lily sitting in a chair near the door. She looked... awful; almost as bad as the time she'd been the one in the hospital a few months before. Her face was fraught with worry and some other emotion James couldn't quite place. She was hunched over, her arms crossed over themselves and her knees pulled together. Her head was down, her eyes pointed towards the floor. James wasn't quite sure she knew that he was awake.