Inhale

Lindsey

     "Ashlynn!" I shake her awake, but she keeps screaming at the top of her lungs. I grasp her in my arms until the screaming slows to sobbing, then to silence. I hold her shaking form while the taxi driver holds the door open for us to exit.       Tenderly, I help her out of the car, though I don't think she even registers Crill House looming over us. As I stable her to make sure she won't fall over, I glace up at the arched windows of the house.

"Is she okay, Miss?" The kind man asks while unloading bags from the trunk onto the front porch.

"I'm sure she'll be alright once we get inside," I assure him. She continues saying nothing, a distant film over her eyes. I'm worried, but I decide to deal with that after I get her and all our things out of the cold.

I hold her by the arm as we walk up the steps, only letting go of her to dig through my purse for the keys Debbie had handed me when we went our own separate ways yesterday.

"Damnit," I mutter, pulling my wallet and various other things out of the bag to find them. "Where did I put those things?" The driver impatiently coughs behind us, and I give him an embarrassed smile. "It'll just be a minute. I-"

"Mom?" I glance at Ashlynn, who suddenly looks at me as if it's the first time she's seen me since we've left the house.

"Yes, hon?" I ask, concerned.

"Front zipper." I'm confused for a moment, but then check the front pocket of my purse. Sure enough, I pull out the key ring with the main house key, the spare key, and a few extra, smaller brass keys.

I put the house key into the knob, and with a satisfying CLICK, the door opens to reveal the darkened foyer. Without any of the lights on, the house itself looks as if it's fallen asleep. Or rather, as if it's in mourning.

I walk in, my footsteps on the wooden floorboards loud in the front room. Fumbling around the wall, it only takes a second for me to find the light switch. Immediately, brightness fills the room, and I have to blink a couple times to regain my surroundings. I'm pleased to find that the house is just as beautiful as how I remember it from yesterday. The pleasant prosperity it appears to radiate comforts me, just as I hope it will Ashlynn.

I turn to her and am delighted to see the same look of shock and wonder on her face as I wore yesterday.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"It's...is it ours?"

"Not yet. But it can be, depending on how this week goes."

I watch as she runs up the stairs to check out the rooms, and then I go out to bring the bags in off the porch. The process only takes about ten minutes, but I'm drained by the time everything we brought is at last separated into our rooms. Upstairs, I can see that Ash has chosen one of the larger rooms. It's lined with plush red carpet, a canopy bed, three street-facing windows, and a modest chandelier hanging over the bed.

I decide to take one of the smaller rooms, which consists of a delicately trimmed fireplace, beige and burgundy wallpaper, a queen-sized bed, and a small sitting area with a candelabra perched on a table.

I toss my suitcase on the bed and flop down beside it, my head spinning with thoughts of this new life we have a chance at. It takes no more than a second for the memories to come rushing back to me in the privacy of the room, and I find myself sinking my head into the many pillows. Silent tears trickle down my face as I think about how much Katie would have liked it here. She would have taken the biggest room, I think. She never would have wanted us to go so far from Portland. I let these thoughts settle in my mind for the first time in almost two days as the sun sinks behind the clouds outside the window.

This is wrong. We need to go back. My thoughts flash back to my agreement with Debbie about staying for a week, and that's when my decision is made: After one week, we're going home. Back to Katie.

Come to think of it, I probably should have just left right then and there. But as I've come to learn, fate is not so kind.