a small whisper

-16-

Jeongguk walked into his cold, dead house which was far from what is called a home. He dropped his bag to the floor as all he felt was emptiness. He looked around and couldn't feel any sort of comfort. Even walking to what was his mothers room didn't even feel right. He collapsed onto her bed and curled himself into a ball as he began to cry.

He needed time for himself, as much as he hated it. He needed to show himself that he could get through this without being a burden to others. He loved Tae, he already knew that he loved him but he didn't know how to accept love. He loves the warmth his tiger gives, but he's scared that if he lets the elder close to him, he'll just end up messing it all up. He didn't want to lose Tae, never. But what happens if he did?

Taehyung was the next thing closest to family and he really didn't want to lose that. He hated himself for having the doubts but he couldn't help it. He's lost all his family and now he's alone. Because of this utter confusion Jeongguk sobbed into the pillows of his mothers cold sheets, missing the embrace of his mother, missing the feeling of knowing that his family was there to protect him. It was all gone.

But as hours passed the sadness he felt turned into anger and rage. He was angry with himself, he blamed himself. If it wasn't for him his family would still be alive and would be a happy family together. But they weren't. So the guilt and sadness he felt turned into repentance and anger.

Jeongguk left the bed and began screaming and crying as he trashed his house. He threw things around, ripped photos, pictures, documents. He threw vases at the wall and he screamed on the top of his lungs. He swung the dining room chairs across the room making them break along the wall.

Tears trickled down at the speed of lightening. He couldn't stop crying as he was losing control. He passed the mirror in the small hallway as he was finding the next thing to break. He looked at himself as he gripped the radiator which was underneath it.

"You're pathetic. You're weak. You deserve pain" Jeongguk cried as his voice was getting more scratchy from all the screaming and forcing loud words.
A few seconds of adrenaline built up, which made him think irrationally and acted out by punching the mirror. It cracked the whole mirror and cut his hands, while making the shards fall to the floor.

Jeongguk fell to the floor with pain and regret. He couldn't believe himself nor could he believe his life but all he knew was that he needed someone. And that someone was his boyfriend. As much as he hated himself for it, he wanted to feel loved, he wanted to feel like he mattered and have a purpose. And Taehyung makes him feel like that.

With bloody, shaky hands, he reached to his pocket and pulled out his phone. He dialled the number and let it ring and few times.
"Baby?" Tae chimed in a raspy voice as if he had just been woken up.
"T-Tae" Jeongguk cried for the nth time.
"Baby, do you want me to come over?" Tae questioned, as he noticed the instability in his tone of voice.
"Please, I-I need you here" Jeongguk wailed, feeing his breathing become rapid and short.
His chest was tightening and he began to feel a little light headed.

Jeongguk leant up against his wall as he looked around his trashed house. He brought his cut hands to his face cried into his sore hands not caring if his blood was going everywhere. He felt crazy, insane almost. But it was only temporary as his normal self came back.

Around 10 minutes later, he heard the door open.
"Baby!" Tae yelled through the house hoping to get a response.
"Up here" Jeongguk yelled equally as loud which 100% damaged his voice.
Tae jumped over a few broken things so he didn't get cut on the way. He ran up stairs and saw Jeongguk covered in blood. 

"Oh my god Guk" Tae gasped as he ran over stepping over the mirror shards.
"Tae" Jeongguk sniffed as he looked up at him softly with streams of tears down his face.
"Oh baby" Tae bent down in front of his and caressed his damp face.
"Do you want to come to mine?" Tae asked gently.
Jeongguk just nodded and opened his arms out as Tae slowly picked the boy up from the floor by his thighs.

Jeongguk clung to him and took in his boyfriends scent.
"Do you want to take anything with you?" Tae asked.
"N-no it's okay" Jeongguk sighed and nuzzled his face into Tae's skin.
"Okay let's get out of here" Tae spoke as he left the messy house, making sure to lock it afterwards with Jeongguk's keys.

The ride home was very silent, very silent. Jeongguk was covered in his own blood, he had tear stained cheeks and his head was hurting. Tae made sure that the boy knew he was here as he kept his hand softly on his thigh. Using his thumb to gently rub the skin gently.

When they arrived, Tae parked the car and ran to Jeongguk's side, opening the car door and picking him up. As they moved away, Tae noticed the other car on the drive which is very rarely seen. Tae sighed and walked to the front door.
"Don't talk baby okay" Tae commanded, he noticed his boyfriends worry, but he just released his pheromones to calm him down, which thankfully worked.

Tae took off his shoes and helped the younger take his ones off as well. He tried to sneak past the kitchen where he thought the people would be but instead they were in the living room and noticed the two boys.

"Taehyung?"