Karma

NINETEEN

—CATALINA—

The physical aspect of sleeping and waking up next to someone was entirely different from the idea and the action.

In the past, to me, sleeping and waking next to someone was combined with the painful ache between my legs, the soulless eyes I had staring at the ceiling wishing it was over and that I could start anew, and the numbness paired with disgust and shame that ravaged my body.

It was sleepless nights wanting to die, and running to the bathroom to throw up my empty stomach filled nothing with semen.

It wasn't like this—the peace I felt in my head, swarming through my entire body. My head rolled over to check the time, the alarm clock shining with the words five am and with the way my tired eyes were on the brink of closure, I knew I needed to give in soon.

So I rolled over on my side, my head placed in my hands and legs curled into my body as I watched the man beside me.

I felt a pang of jealousy the longer I looked at him. His face was soft, expression relaxed, and I wish sleep could overtake me as easily as it did him.

I wish it could pull me under when I needed, to become a way of coping rather than a lighter with its flame pressed against my body, marking me and keeping my sanity intact.

I made sure we were inches apart, not knowing how I would react if any part of him touched me in this moment where I felt most vulnerable.

And with small, heavy breaths, I allowed myself the ability to close my eyes and create dreams which Reece promised he would hold and keep safe until I was able to get them.

♕ ♕ ♕

"Lina, it's time to wake up." Warmth cupped the side of my face and I leaned into it, wanting to get in a few more hours.

"Go away."

"Come on, Jagiya. Rise and shine."

"No, I'm sleeping."

Soft laughter fills my ears making me crack one eye open, my gaze blurring slightly before focusing on Reece and his—I'll admit—attractive face. He looks like he's showered and gotten dressed, no longer wearing his pyjamas and exchanging them for his clothes I've never seen him wear back at the house; slightly baggy black jeans and a well fitted black t-shirt. His jewelry is minimal—wearing his engagement ring along with a couple other silver rings. Around his neck is a simple silver chain that's tucked under the shirt.

He's smiling softly at me and I immediately scowl, hating the look of happiness on his face.

I sit up with a small groan, raising a hand to press against my head as the sudden headache from minimal sleep catches up to me. I sit up, rubbing my eyes with my back of my hands and let out a small yawn.

"What the fuck has you so happy in the morning?"

"Can I not be happy to see my fiancé?"

"You won't be happy when I shove a stick up your ass."

He laughs again, bending down to press a kiss against my lips before helping me get out of bed.