avengers imagines

Bucky Barnes- stupid in love

You, are in love.

You deny it, but it's true.

You can see it in more than your eyes. Watch them closely as they twinkle, pupils dilated deep blacks and blue. Skin pinkening, shining. Body slumping, relaxing.

You can feel it. Heart pounding out of your chest, swelling in each thought. The heat from your cheeks burning the rough layers of your skin.

You feel scared. Unable to open up, crying just thinking about the end before it's began.

You deny it.

But darling, you are in love.

Sitting in the dark is how I found myself most days. Sitting in the quietness of only black, no movement, just still.

My back hunched over into my knees, split ends tickling my knees. I clenched my calves, nails digging into one, cool metal bruising the other.

I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Couldn't breathe. I felt suffocated, trapped, lost.

My heart ached, pounded into my body, crashing down quickly with each passing beat.

I was perfectly still, inactive, dormant, yet, my heart was not at rest, nor would it be. It was much higher, faster, quicker. My stomach tumbled around, feeling sick, but I couldn't vomit, I'd tried. It fluttered and dropped, turned and stumbled. I felt my face, it was hot, but I was not sick, for the serum restricted my body from weakening. No toxin, poison or common cold could reach me. But I felt it for once. I felt everything.

Every missed illness seemed to rush back in only an instant, the chilly burns I had never missed came flooding back, head pounding and aching for answers. Everything hurt, feeling tingly and messed up. My legs were jelly folding each time they shifted. My arms were nothing more than a dead weight, the metal dripping from shoulder to finger tips with the cold sweat of my scarred skin. My lips cracked and chapped, eyelids heavy and puffed up. My blue eyes dilated and red. 

What is happening?

A soft knock sounded from beyond my door, light glistening off of the shifting doorknob.

"Come in." I responded calmly, sinking into my mattress, slipping past the top of my thick duvet.

I watched closely as an outline of a face peaked through, sunlight beaming off of her cheeks beautifully. 

"Hey Buck, you busy?" The girl called out.

My eyes trailed her exposed body. Her h/c hair cascading off of her skin and into the air as she pushed further into an angle away from her body. I watched her sway unsteadily on one foot, her toes dug into the soft carpet below.

I blinked, calming the large grin spreading across my cheeks.

"If watching another movie counts then yeah." I teased, earning a playful smile from her.

The door cracked open more, her body slipping through the space created between the door and the grey wall. Her skin hit the carpet sounding little slaps with each step taken. It became slightly more noticeable with stride closer to the bed.

I welcomed her with open arms, patting the space beside me I shuffled over to the side to create more room for two.

Mattress dipping beneath our bodies, she climbed onto the warm spot I had made cozy for her. She gratefully slid under the shared covers, pulling them just under her shoulders, she nestled into my side happily.

"I recommend this one, right?" She looked up, her e/c eyes mesmerizing my icy blues, melting them into nothing but a rain puddle.

"Mhm." I smiled, softening my expression, relaxing my shoulders, enjoying the aroma of vanilla and warmth radiating off of her. 

She looked back to the screen, my gaze following hers but, there wasn't anything to watch anymore. Suddenly it was nothing but moving pictures with no sounds, blurred and disfigured loosely. I could no longer hear or see, all I could do was think about her.

"I always watch the ones you recommend y'know." I blurted out after silent minutes passed of nothing but background noise. My eyes flickered down to her comfortable face squished against my red Henley. It hugged my torso nicely, my firm body spreading warmth quickly from her head to her toes. My breathing evened out as best as I could get it. And she was comfortable. With me.

"Oh yeah?" She half mumbled, eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks at my breath hitting her face. It smelled of peppermint and pine and ice cooling down her red cheeks.

"Yeah." I pursed my lips, looking to the ceiling.

There, with my head craned back is where I waiting, flesh fingers dancing in her soft locks of h/c. I let some time pass, the movie ongoing and fuzzy. Nothing more than a faint memory. I blinked away nothingness, feeling my heart weighing me down.

"Doll?" I called out once more, longing to hear her voice once more.

Looking down, my eyes searched her motionless expression, mouth slightly open, little puffs of air escaping now and then. She was out. I missed my chance.

The sun was down by know, moonlight fogged and gone from the clouds hiding it away. The room was almost pitch black, though, the stars left little streaks of light now and then. I wipe my forehead with the cool backing of my palm, metal collecting the sweat beading at my hairline. 

I inhale, taking in the fresh winter air, the crispy cold chilling my bones. I exhale, unfolding my body ever so carefully, I look over. 

Scanning the bed beside me, I watch the occupied space dip and groan as I lift the sheets and climb back into the little space of warmth fit only for two. My blue irises remain stuck in place. My cheeks pull at the corners of my mouth. I slip into the warm, searching the face of a girl sleeping beside me for tonight. I catch myself wishing it was more than tonight, more than this.

My flesh hand raises, brushing the scattered hair away from her relaxed features, I gently rest it there, thumb swiping her cheek slowly in a constant movement front to back. I let my hand drop, my head lifting from the pillow.

Leaning forward slowly, I place a gentle kiss to her forehead, holding it in place for only moment before pulling away. I long for more.

"Y/n, my y/n." I mumble, holding the thought close.

And suddenly I don't feel sick anymore.

Darling, you are in love.

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AN: Heya! I am aware this isn't the best. I've been loopy all week. School has started just over 3 weeks ago and I am already burnt out. Sorry for not updating much but I hope this makes up for it. Anyways, I wanted to thank you guys for 120 reads. That means tons to me you don't even know. Anyways, expect more from me, I'm trying to update more. Bye!