avengers imagines

Peter Parker-Short and sweet

She was miserable, so unbearably, unbelievably down.

She hadn't left her room for at least a week, and it seemed the sun no longer set or rose to her no, it was all just a blurry expression of sweet chirping and the occasional bickering from the fiery redhead and the archer. 

She was thinning out, body not as strong and able as it once was. Her sheets were still stained with the blood from her nose that she got almost ever night now. Her hair was untamed and uneven as well as her eyelashes that were falling onto her cheeks and stuck together in her slick tears that dried her out even quicker. No, she wasn't the same and she would never truly be. 

Nobody really thought it would hit her quite as hard as it did. They wouldn't have made her watch if they'd known the result. Who else would feel perfectly fine after watching you best friend, and love of your life, die. 

To everyone else, he was only a nobody who had been crushed quickly and painlessly. 

He looked average. tall, skinny, blonde. His hair was ragged and fluffed. his eyes were the kind that could sparkle even in a room with no light. He was smart and yet so foolish for trying to follow her into battle. Running out of his safe space, his office to get a closer look at the girl in her uniform fighting the bad guys to protect his city, to protect him. Yet, he ran. He ran right into danger and when they locked eyes, she knew he wasn't making it much further.

Not that she didn't try, she had. She ran until her breath was trapped in her throat and screams alerted him. She stomped and fell and slid. She was bloody, dying maybe from her dodging the falling debris above. But she was held back. 

Arms much stronger than her had wrapped around her body, much stronger and covered in a silky blue and red. It held her back from her love, her life, her air. And she kicked. She kicked and scratched and screamed. She cried and begged until she saw it. The chunk above being sent his way. And he was helpless. She could have saved him. But she watched. She watched blood squirt from under the earth collapsing in on itself and she heard an echoing scream come to a stop. And she screamed louder and longer until her voice gave out and her throat was damaged. She watched him die.

And though grief was normal, she tried to put on a show for them sometimes. To prove she was fine when she'd hear her friends mention a good therapist that could come to the tower. To prove she was okay. But she wasn't.

Even worse, she couldn't look at her life long friend, the boy she'd sworn to protect as soon as his stupid bug mask fell off and revealed the little fuck she'd known as Peter Parker. She couldn't even look into his eyes.

They shined the same way as his, held the same peace. his hair was done the same way, and his body was only a little skinnier. 

And he reminded her so much of him.

So she would lay in her room, telling them all she was better. Talking to herself and staying up just to see him again, even if it wasn't real. And she would grieve him when he left again.

So yeah, she was down constantly, being kicked what felt like every morning without him. And she would never ask for help, because their stupid smiles fucked her over with guilt and she hated the pity. 

So she shut them out, as well as her friend. And she let the days turn into weeks into months. 

And yeah, she was truly, so miserably, so unbearably, unbelievably, down.

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AN: It's been awhile and this was an old scrap from my drafts. its all over the place but I wanted to come back again. So hi!