[COMPLETE] I Found You Nii-san! || OHSHC Fanfic [Kaoru Love Story]

Losing It All

Tomoyo's View

It's been three days since the Host Club rescued me, and in those three days they've completely changed around me. My family, Mori and Honey-nii, have completely changed on me. Both of them look at me like I was some crazy beast who went on a killing spree, when all I really did was kill on person...and he was bad! For Panda-san's sake, he tried to kidnap me so he could pleasure himself!

Tamaki and Kyoya are more...cautious around me. They don't call me their daughter anymore, well at least Tamaki doesn't. Kyoya hardly glances at me or even smirks...I hate to admit it, but I miss his devilish smirks. Even the creepy looks he would give me ever so often when I did something that made the girls coo over. As for Tamaki...I miss m-my daddy. The way he called me his little girl, it just feels so weird not being called that anymore.

Haruhi and Hikaru rarely speak to me, but Haruhi speaks more than Hikaru. Overall, Hikaru glances at me and when I catch his eye he spins around like he didn't see me. He purposely ignores me. I can't say the same with Haruhi. It seemed like he is more cautious around me rather than being afraid. I understand she wants to take some measures to make sure I don't do anything stupid like that anymore.

But to think the Club assumes I'll lose it and attack them, no less kill them? It hurts really badly... Why would I ever do such a thing to them? They're like family to me... They're the only ones I can really consider family seeing the things I went through and am going through with me real family.

I stared at my lap, a frown evident in my lips as I thought about all these horrible things happening to me. What do I do to fix this? I feel like I'm slowly losing everyone I care about...

Kaoru. My eyes watered at the image that appeared in my mind at the small thought of my...my ex-boyfriend. It was official, Kaoru and I were official over; we broke up. I know I called it off awhile back when I heard him speak badly of me, but ever since he rescued me... I forgave him.

Now, he has to forgive me.

"Tomoyo?" A soft angelic voice asked.

I looked up at Miku with glazed, dull eyes. She winced at the sight, but nonetheless continued talking to me.

"We're ready for Hi-Hideki's funeral." She muttered, her voice cracking at the memory of her dead friend; my dead friend.

Yes, Hideki was killed throughout this whole thing. After he had tried to rescue me during that night and was captured by Iada, he was brutally beaten and tortured. It... It was horrible. The worst part was that Iada made me watch every single second of Hideki's brutal punishment. I can remember his screams, his threats to Iada, and his last confession like the back of my hand.

"You won't hurt her, Iada!"

Whip!

"G-GAHHH!"

Silence.

"They... Th-They'll save h-her!"

Whip!

"AAH! ...T-Tomo... If... If I don't make it...-"

Silence.

"--Tell Miku that I l-love her..."

And that was his last breath, his last few words. He confessed his live for the girl standing in front of me, Miku. Sadly, I couldn't tell her what he said. The only time Miku would talk to me was when she needed something, or...or when she was mad at me. She blamed me for his death, saying that I was the reason he was killed. That I was the problem in this whole world! Every ounce of anger, despair, sadness; it was placed on me.

I was the one who would bare it.

I nodded solemnly. If they didn't want to talk to me... I wouldn't. I just want to be seen the same way. I'm not a monster!

She bit down on her tongue to refrain herself from saying anything about my behavior, "The others will be by his casket." She said, walking away, but she glanced back at me when she was a bit farther. "Take your time, it's not like we care either way."

My heart shattered. Another piece of it broke away. Keeping my face with no emotion, I nodded once more as she walked away. Once she was out of sight, I fell to my knees seeing as they buckled underneath me. My lip trembled and sobs flew from my mouth. I pounded my fists against the ground and even yanked at my hair. The only words that escaped past my dry lips were:

"T-This is all my fault!"

~*~

I stared down at Hideki's mahogany casket. It was a beautiful casket with no scratches whatsoever. It was the perfect one for a hero like him. He really did save me, he gave me another day from receiving a gruesome session with Iada. But he paid the price of a hero with his life.

Hideki... I glanced around at the others, the others being Hideki's family, the Host Club and Miku balling her eyes out in Ko's chest. I met eyes with Ko, he smiled sadly at me a mouthed a few words.

'He's in a better place now.'

I smiled bitterly, it was true. He was free from the cursed world where there's nothing but hate and sadness. There's practically death at every turn.

Hideki's mother walked up to the podium near his casket. Her eyes were swollen and red, she was obviously crying like crazy over her son. My heart thumped louder and quicker when she glanced at me. She quickly turned away and began her speech.

"Hello, I am Hideki's mother, Chiyuki. It's clear to us that my dear son has left us in this world and passed onto the next." She stated, clearing her throat. "My son, why, he was a smart, handsome boy. He was a very bright boy from the moment he was born. I knew that he would be a very caring kid, one that would care deeply for his friends." She looked at me.

Crack.

"He died protecting what he thought was right. He died doing what he thought was the best option...and for that. I will always, always love him. He was a true hero." She mused, breaking down in tears. "H-He was my little boy!"

My heart shattered once more, but this time... I lost it. I held my head in pain as tears streamed down my face.

What have I done?